Entertainment

Samantha Bee gives it to us straight on serial sexual harassers: Schneller

Comedian cries foul on serious, serial crimes and continuous abuses of power — faux-public-service-announcement style.

“I’m a giant comedy star/Hollywood executive,” Samantha Bee said in a recent routine, “and I’ve found that it’s quite easy not to masturbate in front of my employees."

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“I’m a giant comedy star/Hollywood executive,” Samantha Bee said in a recent routine, “and I’ve found that it’s quite easy not to masturbate in front of my employees."

The Show: Full Frontal With Samantha Bee, Season 2, Episode 22 (The Comedy Network)

The Moment: The faux-PSA

“Hey, everyone,” Samantha Bee says, speaking to the camera public-service-announcement style. “With all these big sexual harassment cases going public, men are getting concerned about how they can avoid being accused.... So I have some advice.

“I’m a giant comedy star/Hollywood executive,” she continues, “and I’ve found that it’s quite easy not to masturbate in front of my employees. Every day I wake up, get dressed, take the subway to work and then don’t masturbate in front of anyone.

“Next time you get the urge to masturbate,” she goes on, “just ask yourself: ‘Am I in front of an employee or colleague?’ And if the answer is yes, just don’t.... Don’t masturbate in front of people who haven’t specifically asked you to and even then, stop and ask yourself, ‘What is our power dynamic? Is there a chance in hell that this person might only be agreeing out of fear for their career?’ If so, make the good business choice and keep your business in your pants.”

As the revelations keep coming about alleged serial sexual harassers, and Twitter fills with people wondering “where the line is,” I’m glad Bee sat down in her pussy-hat-pink suit and gave it to us straight.

Women aren’t namby-pamby snowflakes boo-hooing about little slights. We don’t want mea culpas or disingenuous declarations from people who “had no idea how bad it was.” We’re talking about serious, serial crimes and continuous abuses of power. It’s time to acknowledge that, punish the wrongdoers and end the pattern of behaviour. And the bull that diminishes it.

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