The sexual abuse of children is wrong and damaging no matter how you look at it. To suggest otherwise (and believe me, some will) is to be naive, deluded or complicit.

Whenever the perpetrator is a trusted family member or some other trusted caregiver, the effects are particularly devastating.

Research has shown that the effects of being sexually abused by a caregiver are far worse than if the perpetrator is a stranger or someone they know but don’t depend on, such as a neighbour.

Knowing this, you may be surprised to learn that the courts in Canada appear to think otherwise.

A study by the Cornwall pedophile inquiry has found that in the sentencing of pedophiles in Canada, those who held a position of trust with their victim received significantly shorter sentences. That’s right, shorter sentences.  How can this be? One has to wonder whether we, as a society, cannot face the reality of abuse and its consequent damages.

Why is being abused by a caregiver so much more damaging to the victim? Psychologist Jennifer Freyd coined the term “betrayal trauma” to capture the particularly damaging effects of abuse by a caregiver.

A caregiver, such as a parent, is someone the child depends on to meet their basic survival needs, both physical and emotional.

The child abused by a caretaker is in the untenable position of needing to retain a relationship of dependency with the very person who is causing them great physical, emotional and psychological harm.

The child may use a variety of strategies in order to resolve this impossible and devastating dilemma, including blaming his or herself (rather than the perpetrator), repressing the memories (which, unfortunately, does not protect the victim from its effects), or creating alternate personalities to experience the abuse so that other parts of the child can retain a relationship with the caregiver.

None of these alternatives protect the child from the devastating consequences of sexual abuse by a caregiver; consequences which include a sense of being worthless and fundamentally bad and an inability to trust or to form healthy intimate relationships.

Sexual abuse by a caregiver can require years of psychotherapy and a lifetime to overcome.
We, as a society, need to face the disturbing reality of what it means when a child is sexually abused by someone upon whom they must depend. The courts need to send a clear message that such a betrayal of a child’s trust deserves the full weight of the law.