Friday the 13th
Director: Marcus Nispel
Stars: Jared Padalecki
Classification: R
Rating: **

When director Gus Van Sant remade Psycho back in 1998, it was slayed by critics. Although trying to recreate the Hitchcock classic shot-for-shot was a daft experiment, it was doomed to fail. You cannot recapture lightning in a bottle twice. Why even try?

Friday the 13th is one so-called classic in which that strategy may have actually helped. After all, the original 1980 version was a low-budget, low-brow horror flick that looks horrific by today’s standards. A revamped shot-by-shot remake from a talented director might actually give the gore-fest some gas.

Instead, director Marcus Nispel “re-imagines” Friday the 13th and its classic killer Jason Voorhees by form-fitting it into a common model. Sure, he gives the franchise a much-needed steroid boost but by turning the film’s awareness in on itself, he loses the authenticity of the horror.

There’s no mistaking Friday’s intentions — this is definitely for Jason Voorhees fans. Not only does it overplay the thirteen killings (very clever!) that occur over the film’s 97 minutes, but they’re ultimately underwhelming. In fact, with very little suspense to speak of, Friday the 13th isn’t scary at all … unless of course, you’re a film critic.

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