G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Director: Stephen Sommers

If nothing else, this exercise in ballistic bathos sets to rest the theory about chimps with typewriters being able to produce Shakespeare if given enough time and bananas. They couldn’t do the Bard, but they evidently penned G.I. Joe.

Neither the clumsy good guys led by Dennis Quaid — “the Joes” — nor the clownish bad guys adorned by Sienna Miller seem to have a clue as to what they’re doing, apart from blowing up as many objects and people as possible. The direction is credited to genre hack Stephen Sommers (The Mummy), but the citation seems unwarranted. This is little more than an endless series of computer-rendered explosions, collisions and incisions, with no discernable effort expended on directing or acting.

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