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Seven reasons why Vancouver is better than Toronto: Jen St. Denis

Toronto could only come up with five reasons. Must be all the smog.

What's not to love?

CP PHOTO/ Peter Battistoni

What's not to love?

In my mid-twenties, I spent a year and a half living in Toronto and absolutely fell in love with the city the rest of Canada loves to hate.

But ultimately, I chose to move back to Vancouver — a decision that was mostly about the weather and sentimental feelings about mountains.

Here are my reasons why Vancouver beats Toronto:

1.     Toronto is too hot in the summer.

Vancouverites are used to existing within a narrow temperature range: never colder than about 5 degrees, never hotter than 24 degrees. Anything outside of that range makes us wilt faster than a hemlock in a drought.

2.     No natural compass point.

The North Shore Mountains aren’t just pretty — they’re a handy direction post showing which way is north.

3.     Smog.

You blow your nose and brown stuff comes out. Ewwww.

4.     Nude beach access.

In Toronto the nude beach is a ferry ride away. In Vancouver, all you have to do is scramble down a very tall flight of cliff-side stairs.

5.     Parks, etc.

Our parks are better. Our animals are bigger and meaner. Our water is fresher and cleaner and comes from mountain streams. We get to look at mountains and ocean and all you have is that big flat lake.

6.     Racoons.

Our racoons are alive and all you have is that dead one.

7.     Amalgamation.

Our cities never amalgamated, and therefore city politics doesn't devolve into a big shouty mess.

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