Dave Sullivan and Brandon Calbeck are typical guy friends. They get together once a week or so. When they do, they like to watch hockey, go swimming, play Laser Tag and talk. They share an interest in geography and travel.
This could be a story found on every city block, except that Dave is twice Brandon’s age.
Dave, 28, and Brandon, 14, met two years ago through Big Brothers Big Sisters of Ottawa. Sullivan, who’s always wanted to have a real little brother — “I have two sisters,” he said — was looking to give back to the community when he signed on with the organization.
While he expected to make a difference in a young person’s life, he never expected to find such a good friend. “We really have more of a friend-relationship than a big brother, little brother relationship,” said Dave, a Gatineau resident who works as a web communications advisor for Health Canada.
Now a Grade 9 student, Brandon got into Big Brothers when his mother learned of the program through a friend. The Ottawa organization serves 1,100 children a year and currently has 180 one-on-one matches, said Big Brothers-Big Sisters of Ottawa programs director, Julie Crabtree.
On the flipside, there are 160 Littles — 100 of which are boys — on the waiting list.
“Our biggest need is for Big Brothers,” Crabtree said.
When I met up with the guys at a local bowling alley recently, I quickly found their friendship wasn’t what I’d expected.
Aside from the age difference, there’s virtually no difference between these friends and any others spending some time at the popular hangout. Like other friends, they catch up on each other’s lives. They toss good-natured insults and slap high-fives.
There’s no condescension, no dispensing advice or mentoring in the traditional sense. Theirs is an easy, natural friendship, enviable by anyone who’s ever wanted a cool older sibling.
“Of course, there’s still an opportunity to mentor,” said Dave. “But we just like to talk about stuff as it comes. I don’t want to take on a role.
“It’s neat to be friends with someone from a different generation,” he said. “I learn stuff from Brandon all the time. He teaches me about cars and computers and has more strongly formed ideas and opinions than many of my friends do.”
“We talk about different stuff than my friends and I do,” said Brandon.
Although Crabtree said the match commitment is only for a year and is automatically terminated when Brandon turns 18, many relationships continue to grow beyond that time, she said.
Both Dave and Brandon say they’ll keep in touch.
“This could definitely be a lifetime thing,” said Dave.
How many friends have you said that about?
