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Canadian citizenship like winning 'jackpot': Rick Mercer

  Photo Illustration By David Van Dyke/Metro Canada

Rick Mercer says if you have a Canadian citizenship, you’ve hit the jackpot.

RICK MERCER
METRO CANADA
June 29, 2009 12:14 a.m.
       Text size          

Being Canadian means being lucky.  

There are almost seven billion people on this planet and we make up around 33 million of them.

The odds of a random citizen on this earth being Canadian is about half of one per cent. It’s a long shot that delivers a hell of a jackpot. A citizenship, that for most of us, cost nothing to acquire, but yet is our most prized possession.

Being Canadian means we have freedom of mobility. If you want to change your name to a symbol and move to British Columbia — you wouldn’t be the first, you won’t be the last.

Being Canadian means we can worship whoever and however we want.

Which is why when we meet a member of the worldwide church of the Raelians (who worship a holy trinity of UFOs, extraterrestrials, and tantric sex), we shrug and say each to their own.

Being Canadian means that if your finger comes into contact with a band saw, you pop it in a plastic bag along with some ice, and it gets sewn back on for free.

Being Canadian means that in some places there is now a five cent surcharge for shopping bags to encourage cloth bags.

Don’t use these for a severed finger. In that case, pay the nickel and go with plastic.

Being Canadian means we are each protected under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

In Canada, Harold can marry Samantha, Carol can marry Johann and Ahmed can make an honest man out of Frank.

Being Canadian means you can vote.

And when we do, governments come and governments go — and yet not a single shot is fired.

Which is appropriate because in our nation’s capital, the Canadian flag flies proudly over a tower that we named Peace.

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