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Every week at the conclusion of my radio show, The Secret History of Rock (see alancross.ca for stations and showtimes), I have a segment called Useless Information. It’s a way of clearing my desk of Post-It notes that feature scraps of knowledge I’ve discovered but don’t really have a place in whatever I’m doing.

Most of this information is rather arcane, but it somehow seems wrong not to use it…somewhere.  Here, then, is a sampling of these bits of unconnected and disconnected research.

Big-brain physicist Stephen Hawking is a huge Depeche Mode fan. Back in the ’90s, he once requested to meet the band backstage after a show. He was turned down because no one in Depeche Mode had ever heard of him.

Al Jourgensen of Ministry was invited to remix the Red Hot Chili Peppers single Give It Away. He showed up in the studio with a fat joint in his pocket and a live chicken under his arm. He set the chicken down on the mixing console, lit the joint and blew huge volumes of smoke into the chicken’s face. Whenever the stoned chicken did its business on or near one of the faders on the console, Al took that as a sign to emphasize those tracks in the remix. Now you know why this particular version is called the Chicken Sh*t Remix.

There is no known origin to the special (read: obscene) audience participation lyrics in Billy Idol’s Mony Mony. They first seemed to have appeared c.1986 and differ slightly from region to region.  The best guess is that they somehow relate to an early ’80s MTV interview, where Idol admitted to losing his virginity while the original Tommy James version played on the radio.

But not everything I stumble across is completely useless. After decades of trial and error by professionals and amateurs all over the world, it seems that Canada’s Randy Bachman finally cracked the construction of one of the most beguiling bits of guitar history: the opening chord of the Beatles’ A Hard Day’s Night. 




It turns out a number of guitars were used.  George’s 12-string layered an F chord, a G on top, a G on the bottom and a C. Paul contributed a D to the bass while John played a D chord sus4.
 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1087837 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:05:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1087837
It was chaotic place with barely serviceable equipment and a closed-circuit broadcast radius that encompassed one hallway and one cafeteria. 

While in Winnipeg last week, I was asked to participate in CKUW’s annual fundraising drive.  I hadn’t been back since 1983, so I was curious to see how things had changed.

Sheldon, the interviewer, asked, “Can you talk about the importance of campus and community radio today?”

Here’s what I told him.

At a time when commercial radio stations are tightening their playlist and sticking with familiar big hits to preserve precious ratings, campus stations have become even more important to the cultural ecosystem. 

Without having to rely on ratings for revenue, these stations are free to explore the fringes of music.

While the presentation may sometimes be amateurish, the content and intent is terribly important.

Want to hear the widest variety of new and cool indie music from a bunch of different genres?  Ideas and opinions not found in the mainstream media? Want to really dig into the cultural fabric of your city? 

The answer in each case is campus  radio.

 Keep this in mind when CKUW and other stations of its kind ask for your support.

Write them a cheque.  And be generous.  You’re preserving a vital part of the Canadian cultural ecosystem.

Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1093686 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:05:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1093686
With 78s, you couldn’t have a track much more than four minutes. To get six on a 45 was pushing it.  An LP? Probably maxed out at around 24 minutes. Cassettes could be pushed to 60 minutes.  A CD starts to get cranky after 75 minutes.

But in the world of electronic media, there’s no limit to how long a recording can be. Naturally, some people are interested in exploring the limits of this.

Chris Butler, the composer who wrote Christmas Wrapping for the Waitresses, had his 68 minute, 500-verse song The Devil Glitch nominated for a Grammy in 1998.  He’s since expanded it to two hours and 53 minutes and renamed it The Major Glitch.

Not content with releasing a six hour song called I Found This Star on the Ground, The Flaming Lips issued the 24-hour-long 7 Skies H3 on a USB key set inside a real human skull. They sold all 13 copies for $5,000 each.

But then we come to Daniel Starr-Tambor, who has written a piece called Mandala. It’s complicated, but it involves in assigning each planet in the solar system a music note and harnessing the rhythmic elements of our corner of the universe. From there, it gets complicated.

But the numbers are mind-boggling. Using these parameters and the 62 vigintillion individual notes (that’s 62 followed by 63 zeroes) available, Mandala will last 532,250,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years. And once it’s over, it’s time for the extended dance mix, of course.
 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1081895 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:05:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1081895
Here’s what we can expect in stores and online in the first quarter of 2012:

Tuesday: I have high hopes for Future This from The Big Pink, a British band with much potential.  

Jan. 24: Craig Finn of the Hold Steady’s solo album, Clear Heart Full Eyes, comes out. Also we’ll get Cloud Nothings’ Attack on Memory, which was produced by Steve Albini.

Jan. 31: Lana Del Ray was the musical guest on SNL without even having an album out. Will Born to Die live up to the hype?  And I’ve heard Old Ideas, the first Leonard Cohen studio album since 2004.  Fans will be pleased.

Feb. 7: Van Halen (DLR v2.0) returns with A Different Kind of Truth.  We’ll also get more metal from Silverstein in the form of Short Songs. Plus Le Voyage Dans La Lune from Air.  And Hotel Sessions from Evan Dando and the Lemonheads.

Feb. 14: Sleigh Bells.  Can’t wait for Reign of Terror.

Feb. 21: I like what I’ve heard so far from Band of Skulls’ Sweet Sour.

Feb. 28: The Cranberries are back.  Those who have heard Roses – their first album since Wake Up and Smell the Coffee in 2001 – say it’s very good.

Mar. 6: Kaiser Chiefs and Start the Revolution Without Me. It’ll certainly be a hit in the U.K., but will it be enough for a North American breakthrough?

Mar. 19: Spiritualized return with Sweet Heart Sweet Light.

Mar. 20: Sharks.  Watch this Birmigham-based band. No Gods could be a sleeper.

Mar. 27: The Modfather Paul Weller cranks out another CD. This one is called Sonik Kicks.

Apr. 10: Slash’s new solo album. Still awaiting a title.

Apr. 24: My Darkest Days. No title yet. work Angels.
 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1075965 Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:05:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1075965
Indie music’s impact will be greater than ever.  Major labels — we’ll soon be down to just three — will continue to chase mass audiences with mass appeal artists.  Their focus will be more on creating Top 40 superstars. It’ll be up to the indies to deliver the truly interesting stuff.  And they will.

In addition to mass appeal acts, the major labels will really push heritage performers. This year’s big reunions so far are the Cranberries (new album on Feb. 14), the Stone Roses (festivals this summer) and Black Sabbath (new album this fall).  Also expect more deluxe reissues (Tragically Hip, I’m looking at you) as they try to persuade us to buy new copies of old albums — at a premium, of course.

Madonna and the Rolling Stones will battle it out for the tour of the year.  Madonna will release her new album in March.  And, although they’re playing coy, there’s no way the Rolling Stones won’t go on a 50th anniversary tour this year. 

The gap between what’s on the radio and what the kids are listening to online will continue to widen.  Ask anyone under 24 about Lana Del Ray and they’ll know instantly who you’re talking about.  Even though she’s barely made any kind of dent in commercial radio, her indie appeal is enough for her to be the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

This is the year streaming music services will really take off.  Rdio and Slacker are already in Canada.  Spotify is coming. 

CDs will still be around in twelve months. Ignore all those stupid predictions that the labels will boot the compact disc this year.

There will be another glut of Christmas albums in 11 months.  For the past couple of years, Christmas albums have saved the music industry’s fourth quarter.  The trend will repeat in 2012.
 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1070365 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:05:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1070365
But let’s be honest: you’re going to do neither.  Instead, you’ll contribute to the retail economy by recycling that cash on things that…well, things that you think you need but really don’t. In fact, no one actually needs any of these things.

The Drum Machine T-Shirt ($30)  
You might have heard about those t-shirts that allow you to strum rudimentary chords when you pass your hand across the front.  This is just the next logical step in wearable instruments.

The iHorn ($540)
Inspired by the acoustic principles used in old-school gramophone horns, these things may require rearranging the furniture, but if these things are even on your radar, chances are you’ve already got a place that’s way too big already.

The Speaker Vest ($850)
If you thought the guy on the bus listening to music at high volume through leaky headphones was annoying, just wait until you meet up with someone using one of these. The good news is that the low frequencies coming from the subwoofer will probably stop his heart.

Sex Pistols’ God Save the Queen 7-inch on A&M ($16,200)  
A mint copy of one of the precious few copies rescued from the A&M warehouse after the band was dropped after just five days recently went up for sale through the collectors’ site,

iNuke  ($30,000)  
If the iHorn is too weenie for you, then you need to step up to this 700-pound, 10,000-watt iPhone/iPod speaker dock.  No, none of the numbers in the preceding is a typo.

A Street-Legal Race Car Inspired by a Bjork Video ($125,000)  
Lest you think that Bjork can’t live down that swan dress, take a look at the BAC Mono, a single-seat street-legal track.  This thing wouldn’t exist had its designers not been inspired by the video for Bjork’s All Is Full of Love.  

And although all 50 copies for 2011 have been sold out, the manufacture can promise delivery for 2013.  Perhaps you should put that Christmas money aside after all.
 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1057551 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 00:30:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1057551
Here’s what I’m hoping to find under the tree.  Not that I’m hinting or anything…   
    
Bob Marley headphones
Everyone from Dr. Dre on down seems to get into the celebrity-endorsed headphone game. The new Positive Vibration headphones from the House of Marley sound good and are reasonably priced. They also come in a variety of colour schemes including Rasta.  (thehouseofmarley.com)

Deluxe edition of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Soundtrack 
Yes, there is life beyond Nine Inch Nails. After winning an Oscar for the soundtrack for The Social Network, Trent Reznor and partner Atticus Ross wrote the music for the Hollywood version of Stieg Larsson’s best-selling novel. You can spend as little as $12 for a download or $300 for this deluxe edition featuring CDs, vinyl and autographs in an ornate box.  Yes, I said $300. (nullco.com/GDT/)

Electronic Rock Guitar Shirt
It looks like a regular T-shirt with a guitar on the front. 

The difference is that you can actually play this guitar. Each button on the neck corresponds to a major chord so anyone can play it. It even comes with an amp that you clip to your belt. Endless fun for about $20. (thinkgeek.com)

Giant Boombox Dock for iPod/iPhone  
Remember the ’80s when everyone carried around cassette players the size of suitcases that weighed as much as a small child?  Now you can relive those backaches with an i-dock that needs 6D batteries. And it’s just $200.  (ihomeaudio.com/iP4GZC)

Ramones Throbbleheads
They’re just like bobbleheads except cooler.  Start with the Ramones and move on to other figures from the golden age of punk. You can’t go wrong for $11 each. (aggronautix.com)

Drummer T-Shirts
If you don’t count all those accordion lessons I took as a kid, my instrument is the drums. 

A site called Drumbum offers all kinds of gifts for drummers and other musicians. I’m hoping for the More Cowbell T-shirt. And just $20, too. (store.drumbum.com)

Pod Power
If you’re into music, chances are you have all kinds of electronic gear with those this bulky power bricks that are tough to plug into standard power strips.  Why did it take so long to invent something as simple and as useful as this?  For $35, I’ll take half a dozen.  (quirky.com) 

– Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1052010 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 00:30:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1052010
No wonder that so much great stuff — a disturbing amount — slips through the cracks.  Here’s a list of artists and albums that you may have missed over the past 12 months.

Cults/Cults
A boy-girl band from Manhattan who went from mysterious indie duo to major label signing in the space of just a few months. I dare you not to sing along.

Cut Copy/Zonoscope
Third album from this Australian electronic band, which has been nominated for a Grammy. 

EMA/Past Life Martyred Saints
EMA is Erika M. Anderson, who makes music out of what seems to be a succession of life crises. It’s the kind of powerful, painful stuff that Courtney Love used to make about twenty years ago.

PJ Harvey/Let England Shake
No two PJ Harvey albums ever sound alike.  Her tenth album is nothing short of stunning.  No wonder it won Britain’s Mercury Prize.

Lykke Li/Wounded Rhymes  
Think of her as Sweden’s answer to Bjork and Tori Amos but without the attendant weirdness.  A hit in Scandinavia, it should have garnered more mainstream attention elsewhere.

The Kills/Blood Pressures  
Yes, I have a thing for Alison Mosshart , whom you might remember from working with Jack White in The Dead Weather.  If the band name sounds familiar, it might because the other half of the band, Jamie Hince, married Kate Moss this past summer. 

My Morning Jacket/Circuital  
Think a more psychedelic Kings of Lion.  Maybe their Grammy nomination in the Best Alternative Album category will goose things for the band.

– Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1046003 Fri, 09 Dec 2011 00:30:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1046003
Chances are your city has at least one radio station that flipped to an all-Christmas format last month. This is a HUGE ratings-getter, especially for those stations that get played in offices and workplaces.

But how many times can a person hear Jose Feliciano sing Feliz Navidad before insanity creeps in? And please, let’s not hear any talk of season music from Justin Bieber or Susan Boyle.

So what is a rock fan supposed to do when it comes to Yuletide music?  I’m glad you asked.

Black Label Society: Glorious Christmas Songs That Will Make Your Black Label Heart Feel Good. Hail Santa! (out now): Zakk Wylde, one of Ozzy’s favourite guitarists, offers up a three-track instrumental EP. O Little Town of Bethleham never sounded like this before.

Bowling for Soup: Merry Flippin’ Christmas Vol. 1 and 2 (out now): These Texas goofballs have updated and expanded their 2009 Xmas EP that includes both classics and, um, soon-to-be classics.

Rob Halford: Winter Songs (Out now): Who knew that Judas Priest’s leather-clad front dude had such a soft spot for the Yuletide season?

She & Him: A Very She & Him Christmas (out now): On one hand, Zooey Deschanel (the “She” in this band) seems to be doing well with her TV series, New Girl. On the other, she and Death Cab for Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard separated last month after two years of marriage. Keep that in mind as you listen to songs like I’ll Be Home for Christmas and Blue Christmas.

Scott Weiland: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (out now): During an interview we did 18 months ago, the Stone Temple Pilots’ singer dropped a bomb (including on his record company people, who were in attendance) that he wanted to release a Christmas record. The album features pretty straight renditions of the classics, often in a jazz style.

– Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1039782 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 19:56:33 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1039782
No. 1: Separate sections for vinyl, CDs and pre-recorded cassettes

People forgot that pre-recorded cassettes were briefly better sellers than vinyl or CDs.  Back in the middle ’80s, if you couldn’t find that album on one format, chances are you’d find it in one of the other sections. 

No. 2: The 45 section 

I used to spend hours flipping through the singles section at Sam the Record Man. I couldn’t afford full albums but I could afford a 99-cent 45.  This store had rows and rows and rows of them.  Funny how the price hasn’t changed.

No. 3: The longbox

Retailers initially resisted stocking CDs because they had spent millions on shelving displays for both vinyl and cassettes.  Now the labels wanted more investment in new shelving?  A compromise was reached in the form of the “longbox,” wasteful paper and/or plastic packaging that was about as wide as a CD but 12 inches long.  This meant two rows of CDs could occupy the same bin space as one row of albums.   The worst ones were all-plastic heat-sealed ones that required industrial tinsnips to open.
 
No. 4: Midnight Record Sales 

In the days before the Internet, the only way to be the first of your friends to own the new album from your favourite group was to line up outside the record store on the day it came out.  If the album was big enough, stores would stay open past midnight and at 12:01am on the release day, they’d let everyone in to buy the record. 

No. 5: The big record catalogue 

Somewhere in these old record stores was a giant catalogue of available albums and singles across all genres.  Generally it was clamped to a heavy stand somewhere that the clerks could make sure that no one was ripping out pages.  This is where one would look to see if a record that wasn't in stock was even available.  If it was, you'd order it by its catalogue number.  If you were lucky, you'd have the record in a couple of weeks. 

Quaint, I know, but I still miss this stuff.

Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1033826 Thu, 24 Nov 2011 22:03:43 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1033826

• Before he joined Guns ‘N Roses, Axl Rose was so hard up for cash that he joined a UCLA medical study where he was paid $8 an hour to smoke cigarettes.

• The National Orchestra of Monaco has more members than its army.

• An early member of The Offspring quit the band because he didn’t see it going anywhere. Dr. James Lilija is now a respected gynecologist.

• The saxophone in Lou Reed’s Walk on the Wild Side was played by David Bowie’s childhood music teacher.

• One of Bob Marley’s children played in the CFL. Rohan Marley had a career with the Ottawa Rough Riders.

• The oldest performer to top the Billboard Album Charts is Tony Bennett.  He did it earlier this year with his Duets II album at the age of 85.

• Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day had a cat named Zero.  It died under mysterious circumstances involving a washing machine.

• You know the “follow the bouncing ball” method of synchronizing song lyrics to singing in karaoke-like films? That was invented by Max Fleischer, the guy famous for animating the original Popeye.

• Concerned about hidden backward messages on records, the state of California considered a law to outlaw messages that “can manipulate our behaviour without our knowledge or consent and turn us into disciples of the Antichirst.”  It didn’t pass.

• When U2’s Bono was a kid, his nickname was Steinvic von Huyseman.  He was later named after Bono Vox, a Dublin hearing aid store.

• Before Rihanna recorded Umbrella, it was offered to Britney Spears and Mary J. Blige.  They both turned it down.

• Britney did choose to do …Baby One More Time — but only after it was rejected by both the Backstreet Boys and TLC.

• And still speaking of bad decisions, Billy Idol and Brian Ferry both turned down a chance to record Don’t You Forget About Me. Even Simple Minds had to be talked into it by a record company.  

 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1027945 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:56:39 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1027945
Sky Pilot by Eric Burdon and the Animals:

With the Vietnam War at its peak in 1968, the Animals released this seven-and-a-half minute, three-movement song about a chaplain who blesses the troops before they leave on a mission. Although it doesn’t feature any obvious anti-war lyrics, the imagery and the era in which it was released have caused it to be categorized as a protest song.

And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda by the Pogues:

Written by an Australian singer-songwriter named Eric Bogle in 1971, the song tells the story of the Battle of Gallipoli during WWI through the eyes of a young Aussie soldier. There are many covers of this song but none are as moving as the Pogues version found on the Rum, Sodomy & the Lash album from 1985.

Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits:

The title track of their 1985 album closes the record and was the follow-up single to Money for Nothing. It doesn’t mention any war by name, but many believe it has to do with the Falklands War, which was fought between the U.K. and Argentina a few years earlier.

Remembrance Day by Bryan Adams:

In early 1986, Adams and songwriting partner Jim Vallance wrote this song during the sessions for the Into the Fire album. In 1988, the Canadian Ministry of National Defense asked to use the song in a video production that’s still played in schools across the country.

Hero of War by Rise Against:

This is the one acoustic song from the Appeal to Reason album from 2008. Singer Tim McIlrath wrote the song while trying to imagine an Iraqi war vet looking back on his experiences in the Gulf. Given that there aren’t many songs written from this perspective — at least not yet — it’s worth a listen.
 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca


]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1020606 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 23:37:43 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1020606
The fourth quarter is make-or-break time for labels and music retailers, which is why so many big-name releases are held back for the Christmas shopping season.

• Florence + The Machine - Ceremonials (Out now):  Fantastical sophomore record that neatly bridges all the gaps between Adele, Tori Amos and Kate Bush.  

• Lou Reed and Metallica - Lulu (Out now): The Grumpiest Man in Rock and ‘Tallica collaborate on songs based on a 100-year-old German play?  Uh, OK.

• Noel Gallagher - High Flying Birds (Tuesday): The British music media is in full Noel-versus-Liam mode even as both brothers hint vaguely at an Oasis reconciliation. Are they hedging their bets already?

• David Lynch - Crazy Clown Time (Tuesday): Yes, it’s the Blue Velvet/Twin Peaks guy. If you’re a fan of either (or Eraser Head, Dune, Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive or any of his other works), you’ll appreciate what he’s done here.  

• Drake - Take Care (Nov. 15): It’s a couple of weeks late — Drake wanted to have it out in time for his birthday on Oct. 24 — but he wanted to get it absolutely right. Hence the title.

• REM - Part Lies, Part Heart, Part Truth, Past Garbage: 1982-2011 (Nov. 15):   REM announced their breakup on September 21 and they have a final greatest hits album in the stores less than two months later? That was quick. Either that or they knew the end was nigh a lot earlier than we were told.

• Kate Bush - Fifty Words for Snow (Nov. 21): First, she made us wait 12 years between albums. Then another six. And now two albums in the last six months? Surely a sign of the Apocalypse.

 
Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock.  Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1015281 Thu, 03 Nov 2011 22:17:37 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1015281
And he’s okay with that. “My intentions for The Transformed Man (Shatner’s 1968 debut record) was to combine great literature of the past with great song lyrics of the present,” he says, “but not everyone understood that.

“I was invited on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson to perform.  But in rehearsals, the producer said ‘Bill, this is a six minute piece.  Do either the literature or the song because you can’t do both.’  So I did the song.

“As I was doing my thing, I looked over at Carson who mouthed to Ed McMahon ‘What.  The. F-ck?   It wasn’t my finest hour.”

The Transformed Man languished for years and nothing else was forthcoming from Captain Kirk.  Until, that is, a young musician named Ben Folds found a copy and became transfixed with it.  That led to some collaborations on Folds’ 1998 album, Fear of Pop.  Then in 2004, Folds produced Has Been, a Shatner album that featured everyone from Aimee Man to Henry Rollins to British writer Nick Hornby.  His cover of Pulp’s Common People became something of an alt-radio hit.

Things snowballed.  A ballet — William Shatner’s Gonzo Ballet — was staged by a company in Milwaukee to great acclaim. Which brings us to Seeking Major Tom.

“We came up with this concept of exploring what happened to Bowie’s Major Tom character after he left the capsule.  That story is told through a series of 20 science fiction-theme songs featuring some of the biggest names in music.”

The album features Peter Frampton, Dave Davies (The Kinks), Mike Inez (Alice in Chains), Nick Valensi (The Strokes), Sheryl Crow, Zakk Wylde, Alan Parsons and Brad Paisley.  There’s a video for Bohemian Rhapsody.  I especially like his take on Sabbath’s Iron Man.  And the last time I checked, the album was at No. 112 on the Billboard charts.

“The vinyl version is destined to become a collector’s item,” he says.  And he’s not wrong.  It’s been released as a very limited edition.

“Do you have any vinyl copies of The Transformed Man left?” I ask.

“Are you kidding?” he smiles.  “I’ve got a garage full of ’em, still in the shrinkwrap.  Imagine that.”

How Time Flies with William Shatner rolls into Massey Hall in Toronto on Nov. 3 and Place des Arts in Montreal Nov. 4.

– Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock. Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1008891 Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1008891
Retro can be loosely defined as everything old is new again.  Anything can be retro:  fashion, art, advertising, movies, TV and, of course, music.

Reynolds points out that for the first time in human history, we’ve never been this obsessed with our own immediate past.  Retro isn’t some antiquarian pursuit.  We’re nostalgic for things within recent living memory.

We still worship the music of the 60s.  The rock giants of the 70s — Zeppelin, the Stones — are as big as they ever were.  Clubs still hold Retro 80s nights and acts like OMD and Spandau Ballet are on the road again.  Lately, it’s been all about celebrating the grunge era of the 90s with reunions (Soundgarden), documentaries (Pearl Jam) and commemorative CD reissues (Nirvana, U2).

Meanwhile, current acts have become very successful by recycling the past.  I love the White Stripes, but hasn’t Jack White just put a fresher garage-rock spin on the blues?  The Strokes, Franz Ferdinand and Interpol are New Wave and post-punk with new coats of paint.  Isn’t Lady Gaga just Madonna 2.0?  And while Adele, Amy and Duffy have made brilliant records, they sound like something transported ahead from 1966.

And think about this:  give me a single new sound/genre that will endure beyond the first years of the 21st century?  There have been a few — grime, dubstep, maybe whatever Kanye is doing — but I’m not sure we’ll be wistful about this music ten years from now. A big part of why we keep recycling the music of the old innovators is because of technology.  With the Internet, it’s never been easier to access the past.  And because so much of our immediate musical past has been preserved through YouTube, iTunes and millions of fan websites, it’s easier to mine it for ideas and influences.  That’s great.

But what happens when we run out of the past?  Do we just start over?  Or has as this music been around long enough that it’s become an artifact and can now only feed on itself?  Or will someone have come along to push popular music forward?

These are all extremely big questions.  Something to think about the next time you hear about the next big reunion tour.

– Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock. Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1002899 Fri, 21 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/1002899
All completely legitimate responses, yes.  But here are some names that are also just as important to the history of rock — but in a different way.   

George Beauchamp
Most people credit Les Paul with having something to do with the invention of the electric guitar — and he did.  But the original props must go to Beauchamp, who invented an electrically-amplified guitar in 1931 and began selling models with the help of the Ro-Pat-In Corporation the following year. 

The first documented performance featuring an electric guitar was in 1932 using one of Beauchamp’s Electric Spanish models.

Hugh Le Caine
An atomic physicist by vocation, Le Caine ended up in Ottawa working with circuits that could tame electricity and turn it into sounds. 

By the mid-’40s, he had constructed an apparatus that made music using a piano-style keyboard. 

Very cool — but calling his invention The Electronic Sackbut wasn’t a great marketing move.

Grady Martin
During a session in Nashville in 1960, Grady’s guitar amplifier suffered a sort of meltdown. 

Instead of sounding clean and pure, his guitar sounded fuzzy and distorted — but in a cool way.  With the help of some engineers, Grady came up with a foot pedal that could summon this fuzziness on demand. 

It became known as a “fuzz pedal” and gave guitarists a way to make their instrument sound powerful and menacing.

Del Casher
Not too long after Grady Martin discovered the power of fuzz, Del — who played guitar for everyone from Lawrence Welk to Frank Zappa — discovered a circuit made by the Thomas Organ Company called a midrange boost. 

Fiddling with it produced the same sort of effect as a trumpeter or trombonist using a mute over the horn. Adapting it to a foot pedal, he gave one to Zappa who gave it to Jimi Hendrix.  He used it to great effect in Voodoo Chile in much the same way Eric Clapton featured it in Cream’s White Room.  Guitarists have been using wah-wah pedals ever since.

Jim Marshall
Marshall ran a music shop in London. When guitarists started demanding more powerful amplifiers, he started building them.  Marshall Amplifiers are now standard dream gear for guitarists everywhere. Oh, and did I mention that Marshall was a drummer?

– Alan is the host of the radio show The Secret History of Rock. Reach him at alan@alancross.ca

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/996481 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/996481
In the Olden Days, my friends and I would descend upon stereo stores, pretending to be in the market for some new speakers.  “Those JBLs look good.  Could we hear them, my good man? And then let’s A-B them with those Cerwin-Vegas. No, no — the ones with the 15-inch woofers. ”

The salesperson would dutifully find the LP we suggested and place it on the turntable.

For the next 20 minutes, we’d be pummelled by sound, glorious sound. The sparkling highs. The chest-crushing bass. The sweet midrange. Once the side of the record ran out, we’d promise to think about it and leave the poor salesman commissionless.     

Again. 

One of the albums we’d always ask for was Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon because it was one of the best-produced and most carefully recorded albums of the era.

There was an emotional and physical thrill of hearing it through speakers that could handle the thump of the heartbeat that leads into Breath, the deep bass stabs of Time and the definition of Clare Torry’s voice on The Great Gig in the Sky.

The music caused dopamine to flood our brains, which is literally the same neurochemical response a heroin addict has when he gets a fix.

Today, though, MP3s and cheap ear buds have taken much of the fidelity out of music.

Even modern CDs sound worse than CDs that were released in the 1980s thanks to overuse of compression. We’ve forgotten how good recorded music can sound. Worse yet, many people have never experienced it.

That’s why I urge everyone to go out and buy the new Pink Floyd remasters along with a very good set of headphones. Clear the credit card. I don’t care how. 

Dark Side is the ultimate album for headphone music. Turn down the lights and turn up the music. Marvel at the subtleties of the arrangements, the texture of the production and brilliance of the musicianship. 

Notice how you react physically and emotionally. This is how good music can sound.

This is what excited people about music once. Surrender to it. 

You may never use ear buds again.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/990210 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/990210
Consider: 
1. Everyone in the band has to be happy with it.  Good luck with that.  Many baby bands have broken up because they couldn’t agree on what to call themselves. Finding that consensus is torturous.

2. It has to be catchy, easy to remember and easy to spell. Your name is your brand, so it has to be something that captures the essence of the group’s sound and image without sounding too stupid or pretentious. 

3. Can you get the domain name? Before the Internet, this never used to be a problem. But if you’re going to have a proper online presence, you need a proper Internet address. Oasis had to make due with Oasisinet.com (notice the extra “i” because a dating site already had Oasis.com and wasn’t about to give it up.)

4. It must lend itself to good graphic design. Hey, if you can’t make a cool logo from it, then you’re limiting your appeal.  Nine Inch Nails, Linkin Park, Led Zeppelin and the lips-and-tongue logo of the Rolling Stones are all brilliant examples. 

5. And, most importantly, it has to be unique and unused by anyone anywhere in the world currently or in the past.  

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/entertainment/article/984026 Thu, 29 Sep 2011 22:36:58 -0400 alan cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/entertainment/article/984026
Hooky’s current obsession is preserving the legacy of Joy Division with his band, The Light.  For the last 18 months, they’ve been performing JD’s classic 1979 album, Unknown Pleasures, live in its entirety.

“It all started in May 2010 with the 30th anniversary celebration of Ian (Curtis, JD’s singer who took his own life in 1980) — I celebrate his life, not his death with some shows in Macclesfield and Manchester.  Then I was talking to Bobby Gillespie and his idea of having Primal Scream perform Screamadelica (their 1991 career-definer) in its entirety.  I though to myself ‘Gor, that’s a good idea’ and in a bold moment, I said ‘I’ll play Unknown Pleasures.’”

A good idea in theory, perhaps, but a surprising number of Joy Division purists were not amused.  Condemnation came fast and hard.

“Yes, and some of it has been oddly personal. Being criticized for playing your own songs in any format is an odd thing.”

After the Unknown Pleasures mission is accomplished to Hooky’s satisfaction it’ll be time to move on to Closer, Joy Division’s second album from 1980.  And then?  Album-by-album performances of New Order’s entire catalogue.

“I've been thinking ‘Wouldn’t it be great to play every song we've written before I retire?’” 

Peter Hook and The Light will be in Toronto tomorrow at the Phoenix Concert Theatre and at Club Soda in Montreal on Sunday as part of POP Montreal.  Moby and Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction recently joined them on stage in LA, so who knows what might happen?

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/977257 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/977257
I was about five hours out of San Francisco when the hallucinations kicked in.

As deep vein thrombosis clotted my blood and the Brazilian sleeping pill did something other than put me to sleep, I ended up conducting a question-and-answer session with myself.

Here’s what I remember.

I don’t remember seeing any CD shelving in the 2012 IKEA catalogue. No more Benno shelves or Ivar racks? What does that mean?
Well, at least they still sell things that look like milk crates.

Why do people keep giving money to Madonna to direct films?
Given the reviews of W.E., they won’t anymore. 

Best go back to fulfilling the obligations of that $120-million deal with Live Nation.

Time to go on the road again, dear.

Hasn’t anyone had enough of U2 by now?
After a less-than-successful album, a two-year world tour and a documentary at TIFF, all that’s left for 2011 is a reissue of Achtung Baby. 

There may be four albums’ worth of material in the works, but they really need to go away to dream things up again.

Who’s buying all those Adele albums? I mean, she’s sold 10 million copies of 21.
Lots of different people — and not just those who pick up their music from the counter of Starbucks or at Wal-Mart. This is a rare album that has become a genuine phenomenon based solely on the quality of the music.

Why haven’t there been more songs written about 9-11? I mean, that was a defining moment for so many things.
Other than The Rising by Bruce Springsteen, Let’s Roll from Neil Young and a couple of country songs, the events of that day haven’t really been captured in song. The trauma may have been too great.  

Aren’t people tired of hearing Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll, Part 2 at sporting events?  And Crazy Train?  And Are You Ready for This?
Note to self: write a column on new songs for stadia.

I’m sure I’ll have more questions and answers for myself on the way home.  The flight home from my conference takes 13-and-a-half hours.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/entertainment/article/970720 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0400 alan cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/entertainment/article/970720
As the first-ever TIFF was kicking off in September 1976, the band that would become U2 were having their first rehearsals at the drummer’s house. 

And the Davis "It Might Get Loud" Guggenheim-directed From the Sky Down isn’t the only rock ’n’ roll documentary at TIFF this year. Pearl Jam 20, a film capturing that band’s first two decades — a Cameron Crowe production, no less — will also get a showing before it has a brief one-night run in theatres on the 20th. 

And let’s not forget Paul Williams is Still Alive, a film about the diminutive songwriter and actor who starred in Phantom of the Paradise and, more impressively, wrote Rainbow Connection for Kermit the Frog.

This got me thinking about putting together a list of the best rock docs of all time. Here’s what I came up with.

The Last Waltz (1978):  Martin Scorsese’s fascination with rock docs began here. The Band’s final concert at the Winterland Theatre in San Francisco set the bar high for years afterward.

The Kids Are Alright (1979):  I was such a Who fan that when this came out, I sat through three straight showings in the theatre.

Rock & Roll:  An Unruly History (1995):   A PBS mini-series based on the writings of academic Robert Palmer. 

Dig! (2004): A side-by-side comparison of the Dandy Warhols and the Brian Jonestown massacre, two bands that emerged out of Portland on equal footing but had decidedly different (and tragic) career paths.

New York Doll (2005):  How Arthur “Killer” Kane came to participate in a reunion of the New York Dolls. 

Joe Strummer:  The Future is Unwritten (2007):  A brilliant look back at the life of the Clash frontman, warts and all.

And I know that the band wasn’t real (at least when they shot the mock-doc in 1984), but every music fan needs to watch This Is Spinal Tap.  A scary amount of truth lurks therein.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/entertainment/article/963990 Thu, 08 Sep 2011 19:44:43 -0400 alan cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/entertainment/article/963990
The pace, the travel, the time zone shifts and the exertion of performing two hours a night takes its toll, even on the most pampered of rock stars. Performing is hard physical work that gets only harder as you get older.  Much has been made about Meatloaf’s requirement for a small tank of oxygen and a mask side-stage so he may revive his 63-year-old frame between songs.  That he suffers from asthma doesn’t help, which contributed to his fainting at two shows earlier this month.  But Meatloaf’s oxygen jones isn’t unique.  Many performers rely on hits of O2 during shows.

Even younger musicians need assistance. I was once backstage before a show by one of the biggest groups in the world.  They travel with a refrigerator-sized medical dispensary that contained everything from rapid-release painkillers (migraines be damned; the show must go on) to syringes used for pre-show B-12 shots. 

The case also contained all manner of bandages, splints, allergy pills, antiseptics, antibiotics, muscle relaxants, compresses (hot and cold), medical instruments (scissors, scalpels, tweezers) — a genuine a M*A*S*H* unit.  And I seem to recall an oxygen unit somewhere.

Then there’s Paul McCartney. 

Not that long ago, I saw him perform 22 consecutive songs before he took as much as a sip of water. Not bad for 69.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/952466 Fri, 26 Aug 2011 19:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/952466
For example, no visit to the CNE was complete without a spin on that ride with that guy who was always yelling “DO YOU WANNA GO FASTER?” while the music pounded. Even though the cars and walls were encrusted with centrifugally applied vomitus, I just had to give it a whirl, even though I knew the little donuts and corndogs would soon be liberated from my digestive tract.

A big draw for me was the music. Some unseen DJ, probably with fewer teeth than a chicken, spun the tunes from a booth somewhere in the back. He, the ride, and the fact that physics was about to push me very tightly against whatever girl was sitting next to me made even the lamest songs—“You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate comes to mind—seem unbelievably exciting. And for whatever reason, I’ll forever associate that ride—Polar Express, Himalaya, whatever it was called any given year—with “Frankenstein” by the Edgar Winter Group.

I decided to conduct an experiment in crowdsourcing. I posted this question on my Facebook and Google+ pages to see how this would work as an investigation into social music: What song do most associate with that ride?  

Talk about striking a nerve. After ten minutes, I had fifty replies. After 30, a hundred. And they’re still coming in.  

Metal from the 80s seemed to be the big favourite: Ozzy (Crazy Train), GnR (Welcome to the Jungle) and the Scorpions (Rock You Like a Hurricane) all showed up multiple times. Older (i.e. 70s-era) exhibition goers cite Ballroom Blitz by The Sweet, This Flight Tonight from Nazareth and Argent’s Hold Your Head Up. Someone also brought up Free Ride—another Edgar Winter Group song—because the “DO YOU WANNA GO FASTER” question always came just before bassline-heavy bridge leading into the final chorus. Once that bassline started, you knew the second-hand cotton candy wasn’t far behind.

Come to think of it, maybe I will go to the CNE this year, if just to hop on this ride. I wonder: Will I blend?

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/946353 Fri, 19 Aug 2011 19:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/946353 Reading the OED by Ammon Shea, who spent a year reading all 21,730 pages of the Oxford English Dictionary.  

Along the way I learned such wonderful un-spellcheck-friendly words as acnestis (the point on your back you can’t reach to scratch), cacchinator (a person who laughs too much) and keck (the sound you make just before you vomit).
As a writer, I am fond of words — so fond, in fact, that I invented one once. Or at least I helped.

The study of words is called etymology. If you study the origin of the names, that’s called onomastics. Exploring the origins of place names is toponymy. And if you’re interested in working out the origins of personal names, you’re engaged in anthroponomastics.

While working on a radio documentary about the origins of band names, I found that there was no such word for that field of mateotechny (an unprofitable science).

This was unconscionable. Many books have been written about how bands got their names. How could this discipline itself be nameless? I decided to consult some real onomasticians.

I called Dr. Sheila Embleton, a professor of linguistics at York University. She consulted some of her word-wise colleagues around the world, including Mark Hershon, whose team invented such brand names as BlackBerry, OnStar, Swiffer and Febreze.

After some conference calls, the learned word boffins came back to me with their conclusions. No, they confirmed, the English language did not feature a word that described the study of the origins of band names.

And yes, they had come up with a solution. Academic investigations into the origins of band names or those adopted for professional purposes by musical performers shall forever be known as bandomynology.  

This means that whenever you explain the roots of the name Black Sabbath (taken from the name of a 1963 Boris Karloff film), Green Day (a term describing a day spent smoking joints) or Foo Fighters (from the French feu and relating to a Second World War squadron of UFO-chasing pilots), you’re engaged in bandomynology.

The latest online version of the OED is currently being edited. To get bandomynology included, it has to appear in print (like this) and preferably used by other people in academic and/or everyday contexts.

Help a guy out, won’t you?


]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/934874 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 19:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/934874
No matter where you went, you heard That Song. It spilled from cars, slipped out from underneath ear buds, blared in clubs and floated through stores. And you could never, ever turn on a radio without hearing it.

Last year’s song of the summer was California Gurls by Katy Perry. Remember 2009 when Use Somebody from Kings of Leon was played everywhere? I fully intended to write about candidates for the summer song of 2011, but then I ran into a wall. What, pray tell, determines a “hit song” these days?

In the old days, a hit song was the one you heard on the radio the most. Its radio hit-ness factor was determined by (a) how many copies the single sold; and (b) how many radio stations were playing it. At some point over the summer, one song would be played so much that it became indelibly associated with your memories of that year.
If we’re to use that standard for the summer of 2011, the current leader is Adele’s Rolling in the Deep. No song is being played more often on more radio stations in North America right now.

Today, though, hit songs are determined by more than those two parameters. This is because an increasing number of people now get their music from places other than the radio.  

A service called The Ultimate Chart (which monitors everything from plays on YouTube to tweets on Twitter) ranks LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem as the most popular song of the summer of 2011. At number two, it’s Skyscraper by Demi Lovato, a song that has had barely any radio airplay at all so far. She’s a total online phenom right now. Adele is way down at number eight.

And let’s not forget Rebecca Black’s Friday. As awful as the song is, the video has been viewed 170 million times on YouTube and parodied millions of times more, all without ever troubling even the lowest regions of the Top 40 radio charts. That’s a hit, right?

So what will be the summer hit of 2011? I guess it all depend on where you get your music.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/928942 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 19:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/928942
For the first time since Grade 9, I find myself with a summer off. Which is fine, actually. The dog is being thoroughly walked, the garage is immaculately power-washed and I’m nearing the mythical state known as Inbox Zero.

Most importantly, though, I’m finally going through that massive pile of unread books and magazines on the floor of
my home office. Here are a few of the (mostly) useless things I’ve learned over the last couple of weeks:

• Dolly Parton has released a staggering 94 albums in her career and thanks to songs like Whitney Houston’s cover of her I Will Always Love You for The Bodyguard soundtrack (which has sold more than 40 million copies worldwide) has a personal worth of about $900 million.  

• Remember EMF and their No. 1 one-hit-wonder, Unbelievable from 1990? Keyboardist Ian Dench is rolling in cash after years of writing hits for Beyoncé and Shakira.

• Comedian Ricky Gervais was of a techno-pop duo called Seona Dancing (correctly pronounced as “Shawna Dancing”) in the early 80s. They were a miserable failure except for a song called More to Lose, which became a substantial hit in the Philippines.

• Chris Martin of Coldplay has an honours degree in Greek and Latin.

• Buzz band Foster the People was originally called Foster & the People after singer Mark Foster, but when audiences kept mishearing the name as “Foster the People,” they made the switch.

• Adele says she was inspired to get into music by the Spice Girls. Her earliest gigs featured her singing songs like Wannabe.

• For this final stage of U2’s 360 Tour, the band flies in around 5 p.m., plays the gig and is back on their private plane by midnight.

• Sales of CDs are now so weak it’s possible to make it onto the Canadian Top 200 album chart by selling fewer than 200 copies.


]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/923221 Fri, 22 Jul 2011 19:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/923221
No tour has sold more tickets or grossed this much money.  Every single show throughout the seven legs has sold out  — this despite a million tickets having been thrown into disarray by Bono’s back injury last year. By the time it comes to an end in Moncton, on the 30th, the total box office take will be somewhere around $700 million.  

So I ask again:  Now what?

Everyone in the industry that I’ve heard from —including the mysterious Arthur Foegel of Live Nation, the Canadian mastermind behind this tour and mega-tours by Madonna,  the Police, David Bowie and other superstars — acknowledges that there isn’t another act on the planet capable of duplicating what U2 has done.  Even the U2 organization itself can’t imagine anything bigger or more successful.

Why? After 35 years, U2 remains a working rock ’n’ roll band that still can release albums and have them go platinum around the world. Their catalogue is so deep that it spans generations of fans.  Everyone goes to the shows because they love different parts of that catalogue. Tours are global events that attract heads of state. (When I saw the show in Moscow last summer, Mikhail Gorbachev was in the stands behind me.) There’s just not another act with U2’s musical firepower or financial backing. There isn’t another band capable of raising the start-up capital for staging a tour as big as 360. U2 and their people had to spend upwards of $150 million before a single ticket was sold. The three Claw stages alone cost $35 million each.  Their construction is so sophisticated that bidders from four continents want to buy them for conversion into permanent concert pavilions.  

In the current musical environment, I can’t see anyone ever outdoing this U2 tour. The Rolling Stones? They might come close, but they’d have to play more shows — and at their ages, that would be tough.

I may just have to fly to Moncton to see that final show. Not because I want to see U2 again but because once the lights go down at the end of the set, I fear that we will never, ever see the likes of a rock ’n’ roll show on this scale ever again.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/917719 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 19:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/917719 If you’re reading this, chances are you still care about buying albums and CDs. And as we pass into the second half of 2011, here are my picks for the best albums of the year (so far) in alphabetical order.

Adele/21:  Unstoppable. People are discovering that Adele is the Real Deal. There’s little hype promoting this record. It’s selling exclusively on the strength of the songs.

Beastie Boys/Hot Sauce Committee Part Two: MCA, dude, that cancer thing really scared us. How did you guys crank out such a solid record while all that Big C stuff was going down?

Bon Iver/Bon Iver:  More divine melancholy music from the saddest man in Eau Claire, Wisconsin.

The Dears/Degeneration Street:  In the business, they call this kind of CD “a career-defining release,” It’s made the Long List for the Polaris Music Prize.

EMA/Past Life of Martyred Saints:  South Dakotan Erika M. Anderson turns her noise-folk into something that PJ Harvey probably has in her iPod.

F—ed Up/David Comes to Life:  No one in this Toronto hardcore band can explain the libretto of this rock opera. No matter. The ride is satisfying enough.

Foo Fighters/Wasting Light:  This record is more proof that the Foos are as close to a perfectly constructed modern rock band as we’re ever going to see.

PJ Harvey/Let England Shake:  Harvey is a shape-and-genre shifter, with each album sounding completely different. Moving from woozy to fierce and back again, I hear something new each time I put on this CD.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/904431 Thu, 30 Jun 2011 05:00:44 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/904431
The publishing world has known about the marketing power for anonymity for decades. Now some quarters of the music world seem to be applying the same methods. Smart, this, since the intrigued are forced to embark on competitive detective work that may go on for weeks or months, creating buzz and increasing chances of a breakthrough in a noisy market.

An example is Cults, the boy-girl indie pop outfit from Manhattan who created a stir in the hipster blogger community when they released a well-received EP in 2010 without offering any information about themselves. That mystery parlayed itself—intentionally or otherwise—into a major label deal.

Summer Camp, another secretive boy-girl group, hid their identity by refusing to offer up their names or even a blurry picture. Instead, they issued a series of what looked like Polaroids of teenagers from the early 70s. They’ve since been outed as a couple of shy Londoners who were scared by all the early attention.

The British music media recently fell for Manchester’s Wu Lyf. They gave no interviews and made no appearances.  All communication was one-way through their website, which consisted of weird mission statements in language that bordered on nonsensical. There was one picture: four people wearing bandanas in a smoky parking lot. Only now that they have an album coming out has Wu Lyf has begun to talk. Their manager has been revealed as the founder of a creative agency whose clients include Adidas and Virgin. All this was carefully staged.

At first, all anyone knew about Brighton’s YAAKS was that the line-up included someone named Thom and five mates. Their identity is still pretty unclear, but that hasn’t stopped a sizeable number of people from freaking out about a single called HRHRHYTHM.

Lest you think that this a new thing, consider the Residents, the San Francisco art collective whose members have never been identified through the more than 60 (!!!) albums they’ve released since forming in San Francisco in 1966. Public appearances are done in disguise and all requests for interviews are denied.  

Hey, who says you have to be famous and recognizable?

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/898689 Fri, 24 Jun 2011 15:00:00 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/898689
Cylinders vs. Rotating Discs: Thomas Edison’s phonograph with its rotating wax or metal cylinders established that sound could be captured. But then Emile Berliner showed that rotating flat discs played on his gramophone were far superior. Why? Better sound and because discs had a B-side—twice as much music for the same price. Edison had no choice but to move from cylinder to disc.

Phonographs vs. Gramophones: The phonograph tracked grooves in the record by going up and down. The gramophone’s needle went from side-to-side. This meant that phonograph records couldn’t be played on gramophones and vice-versa, forcing consumers to take sides. While it’s true that Edison’s machine delivered slightly better sound, the up-and-down motion of the steel needle wore out the record more quickly.

Undeterred by this minor issue, Edison stuck to his guns and refused to make any changes to his machine. Ultimately, though, the gramophone won out and Edison stopped making phonographs and records entirely by about 1930. Weirdly, though, we still use the word “phonograph” to describe turntables even though they are technical descendants of the gramophone.

78s vs. LPs: By the 1930s, the standard rotation rate for discs was 78 RPM, which meant that each record could store only about four minutes per side. Columbia Records changed that in 1948 with the introduction of the vinyl 33 1/3 RPM LP (Long-Playing), a format that could store up to 22 minute per side. From that moment, the 78 was doomed.

LPs vs; 45s: Although Columbia offered to license their new technology to rival RCA, they would have none of it.  Instead, they countered with the vinyl 45 RPM 7-inch single in 1949. RCA contended that four or five minutes of music per side was all consumers really wanted. But if they did want more, they could simply stack 45s for continuous play on the large spindle of the brand new automatic RCA-manufactured record changer. This is why the hole at the centre of a 45 is so big, the larger diameter was necessary to let the record slide down the spindle without prematurely fraying the area around hole.

Next week: How we got to what I call The Streaming Wars.


]]> http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/884946 Fri, 10 Jun 2011 16:15:47 -0400 Alan Cross, Metro Canada http://www.metronews.ca/Ottawa/comment/article/884946