Neelam, 38, gets up at 4:45 a.m. and heads to the kitchen to cook two days worth of meals for her sleeping family.
She gets her 9-year-old son up at 6 a.m. By 7:15, she has just dropped him off at school, and gunning it for the commuter train that takes her to her 9-5 job in Toronto as a team leader at a paycheck distribution company.
At 7:15 p.m., Neelam, who asked that her last name not be published, arrives home to find Dad with Junior, going over homework. They sit down to a family meal which takes 20 minutes to eat (not including time for dishwashing), usually in front of the TV.
If Neelam’s daily workload hasn’t followed her home, which it can, she’s afforded the luxury of approximately one hour’s bonding time with her family (which often entails making sure Junior’s homework is done before he hits the sack at 8:30 p.m.) and maybe a book before everyone heads to bed at 10 p.m. — to do it all over again the next day. Five days a week, fifty-two weeks a year minus vacation, sick days and statutory holidays.
It’s the life of the supermom and as you can see, it’s no walk in the park.
Neelam’s case isn’t unique. Living La Vida Rapida, a worldwide parenting study exclusively released to Metro’s 100 dailies around the world conducted by media research group OMD/AOL, partnering with Ipsos, concludes that while women’s responsibilities in the workplace are growing, their traditional homemaker roles remain the same. The survey questioned parents from 13 countries around the world — among them the U.K., U.S., France, Russia, China and Canada — finding career moms can fit 27 hours’ worth of activity (or an average of 16 hours awake time), be it career or family-related, into 24 hours.
Working mothers surveyed said they provide 66 per cent of the day-to-day parenting, compared to 74 per cent for non-working moms. Dads provided 36 per cent of the parental care.
It takes a toll on motherhood, Neelam says. Demands of the workplace, combined with ensuring a successful education for her child dictates that she plays the role of ergeant-Major instead of a sympathetic and understanding caregiver.
“I don’t have as much time to spend as I would like with my son as a mom.” says Neelam. “I’m the one who has to make him do things he doesn’t want to do.”
It’s a sentiment echoed by co-worker Sarvjit, 33, also a team manager. A mother of a 7-year-old-boy and 4-year-old girl, Sarvjit, who also asked that her last name not be published, finds herself taking the role of mother and organizer of special events, such as birthday parties.
“It’s just faster for me to do it all myself than waste time trying to find help,” she adds.
Not to say that the dads are lazy parents. Quite the opposite: Both confirm the men of the house feel they don’t spend enough time with their children.
The attitudes reflect the survey. Almost 50 per cent of dads surveyed say they spend more time with their children than their fathers did with them, especially true for British and Spanish fathers at 57 per cent.
Half of all dads on the survey believe men should be entitled to more paternity leave and 60 per cent of parents said men and women should be able to decide how to spend their maternity and paternity entitlements.
