setting the tone.
Getting stuck in a meet-up rut and connecting with potential, quality partners can prove impossible – especially if your haunts are rife with Top 40 music, overloaded makeup, and insecurity.
California-based responsible hospitality expert Jim Peters suggests spots that are female-friendly can become a catalyst for overflowing address books.
While male-centred meat markets offer dark, open spaces, booming bass and cheap drink specials, women are less likely to show up seeking more than a one-night stand, he says, especially if they feel like lambs to the slaughter.
If a lounge or pub offers a comfortable, casual environment with a health-conscious menu and drink list that’s matured beyond draught beer, women are more likely to head out with gal pals for a night on the town.
Where, and how to meet people:
Going out with a group? Don’t surround yourself with a harem of opposite-sex friends. If you make sure the ratios are weighed in favour of your sex, potential partners are less likely to think you’re already out on a date.
Heading out solo? Experts suggest parking in a high-traffic area of a pub, park, or coffee shop. Become approachable without hiding behind a book or laptop.
Get outside your social circle. While there’s something to be said for staying comfortable among a group of close friends and already-acquired acquaintances, people are more likely to approach you, and you them, if you’re a new face in an established scene. Pickings become slim after fishing in your own pond awhile.
Pick spots based on major interests, or something you’re curious about. Classes, seminars, hobby groups, art shows, live performances and sporting events are full of people who share, or are developing a similar interest, and create an excuse for conversation. If you’re new to whatever it might be, you can always find someone who can answer questions, and strike up an easy conversation. People are especially passionate about good music and team sports – use the vibe and flowing serotonin to your advantage.
Above and beyond the setting, just go for it. A smile, eye contact and a simple introduction aren’t tricks, they’re things everyone knows how to do. Rising above insecurities can be empowering. Rejection is possible, and odds are, inevitable. Though, if you throw enough mud at a wall, some will eventually stick.