Piato
1835 West 4 Ave.
Vancouver
604-568-2929
piato.ca
Open Daily; noon to late
Signature Drink: Santorini Sunrise
Signature Dish: Pork & Lamb Souvlaki
Rating: *1/2
Dinner & drinks for two: $90
An ex-boyfriend of mine from days of yore had a mother who I viewed as the Greek Julia Child. She would effortlessly put together massive feasts for 12 on a weekly basis, creating dishes of extraordinary range that looked as good as they tasted. I admit, I dated her son as long as I did partly in order to keep getting the invites to those amazing dinners. We eventually broke up and I found saganaki, dolmathes and souvlaki at numerous “tavernas” that—while not equalling Mama N’s kitchen—kept my love of Aegean cuisine alive. Thus, I was pleased to hear that a new, upscale Greek kitchen was coming to West 4th.
I’ve never gone from love to hate quite so fast. The concept—contemporary Greek cuisine—was exciting, the online menu read well, and the room looked clean and modern. We went eagerly, arrived hungry and left disgusted.
It started with my drink, a vodka and champagne concoction of which I couldn’t handle more than one sip. It tasted like nothing so much as my daughter’s infant Tylenol, without the sugar. Then the bread basket came, an odd assortment of lovely, fresh-baked pita, half a sesame bagel (huh?) and a roll that might have been sourdough -- taste tests couldn’t confirm. The teeny little butter pats that came with seemed completely out of place. Where was the nice hummus or tzatziki for dipping the pita? We would have been willing to pay, but the $10 platter on the menu seemed excessive when all we wanted was a little dip before our starters.
The feature appetizer, saganaki with grilled prawns ($13), was edible, but barely. Kefalotiri and haloumi were mixed into a square that seemed neither grilled nor fried, and which had the consistency of a baking or cottage cheese. Served over slices of grilled yellow and green tomatoes, with an overly sweet balsamic glaze sitting on the side, I wondered if this was supposed to be a substitute for salad. The two large prawns that sat skewered on top had a consistency more suitable for your Goodyears than your plate.
Mains were worse. Pork and lamb souvlaki ($15) was both over- and under-cooked at the same time. How can this be possible, you ask? Well, the lamb was tough and the pork was bloody. The latter, like chicken, is never wise to eat medium-rare. Our table ordered two souvlakis, and while the lamb on one plate tasted and smelled relatively fresh, despite the rubbery texture, the other plate emitted a smell I would normally associate with freezer burn, and was obviously not fresh -- try rancid. Large helpings of fairly decent fries and pita rounded out the plates, if not our palates.
It also didn’t help that our server was a kind, but completely clueless individual who mixed up our orders, forgot all of our requests without fail, and after bringing us our drinks a full 30 minutes after we ordered them, forgot to ask if we would like to order another round, despite empty glasses gracing our table for almost an hour.
My salmon with spinach risotto ($15) was a disaster. I had (unwisely) decided to substitute the risotto with the “Greek-style” polenta. Overcooked fish, with a rubbery hardness that my fork had difficulty penetrating, came with a lumpy tasteless mash of what might have been either chick peas or lentils in another life. At this point, it was definitely long odds on the risotto being an improvement. Short rib moussaka ($11) was the only dish that tasted half-decent, but the side salad was too vinegary.
We decided “in for a pickle, in for a pound” and ordered dessert. Fried honey puffs ($7) sounded suspiciously like gulab jamun, one of my favourite Indian desserts, but this was a sorry imitation, with greasy deep-fried crusts covering sickeningly sweet fillings of gloopy cheese.
Was there anything good, you wonder? Well, the wine list is very decent, if a little short on by-the-glass options. There’s a strong emphasis on good Greek bottles, and the list includes a truly excellent Moschofilero (a white varietal common in southern Greece) from Boutari, available at $10 a glass. And, as previously mentioned, the room is very pleasing, with its white walls, dark wood tables and photographs of the “old country.” However, if the food is what passes for contemporary Greek, it might be time for another Roman invasion.
A Cheap Sparkler for Hard Times?
Champagne is usually made from three grape varieties: Pinot Noir, Chardonnay and Pinot Meunier. Sparklers labelled “Blanc des Blancs” usually implies 100% Chardonnay. In the case of Chamdeville’s sparkling wine, Brut Blanc des Blancs N.V., it refers to a blend of white grapes—Semillon, Ugni Blanc and Muscadelle. It’s a fairly sweet, light alternative to more expensive Champagnes (only $11.49 at BCLS), but, if the wallet allows, you may want to upgrade to something more refined. You get what you pay for…
Chefs “Senza Frontiere”
On Monday, January 12, 2009 at 6:00 p.m., Pino Posteraro of Cioppino’s (1133 Hamilton St.) will host a 12-course feast prepared by some of Vancouver’s hottest chefs, including Hidekazu Tojo, Daniel Boulud, Michel Jacob, David Hawksworth, Nico Shuermans and Thomas Haas. Tickets are $500 and benefit the Chef’s Table Society of BC. Call 604-868-1235 or visit chefstablesociety.ca.
Dining Out
Christmas Feasts
Le Gavroche (1616 Alberni St.) will offer a special five-course dinner on Dec. 24 for $55 per person ($80 with optional wine pairings). Selections include diver scallops, quail in foie gras port reduction, beef tenderloin and cranberry crème brulée. Call 604-685-3924.
Elixir at the Opus Hotel (322 Davie St.) will offer a special five-course menu on Dec. 24 and 25, for $80 per person ($120 with optional wine pairings). Selections include pumpkin and lobster bisque, roasted free-range turkey, and eggnog rum parfait. Call 604-642-0557.
Food in Brief
Out with the New, In with the New…
Mon Bella Bistoria has changed chefs again. After a scant two weeks, Chef Lauren Campbell is out and former Metro/Rare chef Brian Fowke is in as a locum. Buona fortuna to Brian and Mon Bella.
The third annual Operation—Cookies for Kids drive is on now, benefitting B.C. Children’s Hospital. Pick up your reusable tin of baked goodies at Edible BC, Pacific Institute of Culinary Arts and Vista d’Oro Farmgate Shop. Call 604-514-3539 for more info.
