Late-night talk show comic Stephen Colbert has found a new gripe in the Lower Mainland — the Langley nut-kicker.
Last month, police warned the public after a Langley man was kicked in the groin by a female stranger with such force it caused one of his testicles to rupture. The testicle had to be removed and was replaced with a prosthesis.
On the Threat Down segment of Wednesday’s Colbert Report, Colbert announced the woman — who has never been caught and is thought to have assaulted three other men — as his No. 1 threat to America.
“She has ... walked up to a total stranger and punted the living nad-lights out of him,” Colbert said.
“Clearly this woman’s ultimate target is me because, come next February, I could easily be in Canada with our speedskating team and this at-large peanut punter is training for the kicking of a lifetime.”
Lower Mainland issues have been a hot topic on The Colbert Report of late. Recently, he slammed “maple syrup-sucking iceholes” for not giving American speedskaters their fair share of icetime at the Richmond Oval.
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Colbert declares Langley ‘peanut punter’ No. 1 threat
Photo courtesy of Comedy Central
Talk show host Stephen Colbert with his Big Brass Balls.
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