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Our next premier.

If the latest poll is right, sometime on the night of May 14, 2013, it will be so (plus or minus 3.5 per cent).

For a while, the polls have shown the NDP ahead of the governing Liberals in voter sentiment. But for the first time, an Angus Reid poll shows voters believe NDP leader Adrian Dix is a better choice for premier than Christy Clark.

Poor Christy. The people have tied one end of a chain around the HST and the other around Christy’s ankle and tossed her into English Bay. It will take a political miracle for her to recover over the next 16 months and lead her battered and bruised Liberals to another term in office.

Which leaves Adrian Dix, the last man standing after what seems like an endless process of leadership battles and referendums, churned up in the “see ya, don’t wanna be ya” exit of the notorious Gordon Campbell.

I’m trying to keep an open mind. Dix was elected to the legislature in 2005, after spending the first part of the decade wandering around the political wilderness as a B-list pundit. He acquitted himself very well, earning a reputation as an astute, if humourless opposition critic.

Somehow, he beat the equally beige Mike Farnworth to become the NDP leader. And as leader, he’s been a bit of surprise. In a good way. Turns out he has a sense of humour as well as a head on his shoulders. Compared to the perpetually giddy Ms. Clark, he seems comfortable in his own skin — sharp, but level headed, left-wing without appearing extreme. Kind of the Greg Selinger of BC politics. You know, the NDP premier of Manitoba? They’re doing all right in Manitoba, aren’t they?

But there’s still a nagging doubt about Adrian Dix. In 1999, at the height of the Glen Clark scandal, Dix was chief of staff to the Premier. He was forced to resign after it came to light that he wrote a phoney, back-dated memo to make it appear that Clark had instructed him to keep him at arms-length from the process of awarding casino licences.

A big mistake? A lie? Yep. Maybe “Tricky Dix” has learned his lesson and will never tell another lie.

And maybe he hasn’t. So far, he’s pretty much had a free ride from the Anybody But Christy Movement. But the last time Mr. Dix occupied the Office of the Premier, he resigned in disgrace.

I’d be careful what you ask for.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1089760 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:59:33 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1089760
If there was any doubt that it’s crazier out there than a herd of alley cats in a catnip factory, the story of Christopher Evans should end all arguments.

Christopher Evans is the 33-year-old skateboarder who got annoyed one day last June after three buses on East Hastings Street refused to stop for him. Furious, he smashed a window of the last bus with his skateboard, then slapped on his headphones and decided to push his way home.

The next thing he knew, he was attacked by a police dog that went at his leg like a chew toy. He needed 100 staples to close the wound and (according to news reports) says the nurses at emergency told him he was lucky the dog didn’t rupture a main artery, causing him to bleed out and die.

Now, with the help of the Pivot Legal Society, he’s suing the Vancouver Police Department for the careless and excessive use of a police dog.

Nothing about the careless and excessive use of a skateboard.

Or the careless and excessive use of headphones.

Or the careless and excessive use of the Pivot Legal Society.

I could go on, but I think you get my drift.

This guy is 33 years old and he’s still tooling around in traffic on a skateboard wearing headphones.

He’s already a public hazard, never mind the hair-trigger temper that’s prone to committing skateboard rage.

But rather than thank the Sk8erboy gods that he’s still alive despite tempting a half-dozen Fates, he decides to sue the officers and the City of Vancouver for their dog-handling practices.

And the Pivot Legal Society, which apparently doesn’t need or value credibility, is taking on the suit because police dogs should not be first responders and think police should try other, more reasonable arrest techniques other than setting the dogs on people.

 I’m not a judge. I’m just a lonely voice standing outside the court of public opinion with a sign (Will Write for Food) but if I were a judge, I would issue the following ruling:

“Dear Mr. Evans. Please go away. Spend some time thinking about the consequences of attacking a bus and then skating away oblivious to the consequences. And, by the way, how do you expect to hear the police yelling at you to stop when you’re wearing headphones? Thank you. As for the Pivot Legal Society, aren’t there any poor people out there who need help…and actually deserve it?”

I rest my case.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1083708 Mon, 30 Jan 2012 05:38:25 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1083708
That did not stop hundreds of people from jamming Christ Church Cathedral to the rafters to say goodbye to Milton Wong. You’ve heard about the Fathers of Confederation? Well, Milton was a Father of Modern Vancouver.

He was also a friend who liked to turn up at the office without warning, expecting you to drop everything and go to lunch. Which you did, because it was like having lunch with Gandhi or Plato or Adam Smith or those other guys he liked to quote.

Not only did he quote them, he actively lived their ideas. How many guys do you know who sift hungrily through the great books looking for a practical blueprint for humanity? Milt did that, and that was only one small part of what he did.

He also built a fortune as a money manager, was a driving force in establishing the Dragon Boat Festival and the Laurier Institution, served as chancellor of Simon Fraser University and was a tireless fundraiser. He helped move the SFU School For Contemporary Arts to the Downtown Eastside, a part of town he loved and worked to nurture back to health.

He was also a friend who liked to turn up at the office without warning, etc.

Everyone was there Friday — from John Q. Public to an astonishing array of VIPs, from former premier Mike Harcourt to Adrian Dix, pretender to the throne. Even though it was held in the city’s foremost Establishment Temple, the faces represented every race, colour and creed on the human spectrum, as Milt embraced them all.

Every one of them counted Milt Wong as a friend. Every one of them had their own story about their impromptu lunch buddy, their fellow fitness buff, the incredible host and chef, the guy with the winning smile, a man who shared insights gleaned from 18th century philosophers the way other people share gossip: With a big grin, glittering eyes and breathless enthusiasm.

Milt Wong’s last day was also the last day of 2011. He was 72, but until cancer took over he had the mind and body of a 27-year-old. He left on the threshold of a new year, his job not finished, never finished. His was a vision that strove to unite us, encouraging us to work through our differences and become greater than the sum of our parts.

And he also liked to go for lunch.

I still half-expect him to turn up unannounced, bringing news of Adam Smith.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1077840 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:10:10 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1077840
Or more accurately, why are those men laughing?

It’s natural to ask whenever you walk by the 14 statues clustered around the little park at the corner of Davie and Denman, overlooking English Bay.

A-Maze-ing-Laughter is always striking — and more than a little unsettling.
The work by Beijing’s Yue Minjin features 14 giant statues, all likenesses of the artist, laughing his head off, showing off an alarming array of great big teeth. All the better to eat you with.

The only problem? It’s not clear what he’s laughing at.

Is he laughing with us? Or at us?

Is he laughing because life is joyful or because life is a joke? Or both?

Is he laughing because the suckers who run the art project called Vancouver Bienniale have elevated him to the status of high art, when it’s obvious to any practical person that he’s just a big joke?

Or is he laughing because the price tag to keep him here is $1.5 million, or that the artist has ‘reduced’ the price from $5 million?

That’s the whole point of A-Maze-ing Laughter. It’s a laughter maze. Once you enter, there’s no exit. You’ll never figure out why that man is laughing.

It’s mysterious, exhilarating and annoying, all-in-one.

That’s probably why the effort by Vancouver Bienniale to keep the work in Vancouver has been met with mixed reviews.

Some people think it’s art pollution.

Some people think the joke’s on them, and don’t appreciate it. Remember that other sculpture:

“Device to Root Out Evil”? It was a church turned upside down with its steeple pointing down to where the Devil lurks. Anyway, it offended so many people, we had to ship it off to Calgary, where they look on art as an investment.

Nervous chuckles aside, most people seem to get a big kick out of A-Maze-ing Laughter and clamber all over it like it’s a jungle gym for grownups, frolicking on a set of broad bronze shoulders, matching its oversized laughs. In fact, the artist has extended the deadline for Vancouver Bienniale to raise the $1.5 million to August, on the strength of all those playful interactions. A-Maze-ing Laughter is an amazing hit with people who may not know art but know what they like.

It would be a shame to lose such a buzz-maker and return the park to its unnatural state as a palm tree grove (if you think that’s natural, just ask the shivering palm trees).

But you never know when we might need that $1.5 million for something really important, like 1/400th of the roof on the stadium.

And you wonder why that man is laughing?

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1072283 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 05:51:09 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1072283
The only thing missing is the pith helmet and Dr. Livingstone.

His every experience is breathlessly documented by the team of reporters following in his wake.

A Surrey shelter only has one bathroom for 50 people. Ooooh.

After rent, transit passes and his cellphone, he is left with 30 bucks a week for groceries. Another collective media gasp.

You might argue this is the smartest political move he’s ever made. Here’s a guy who’s been elected three times and the first thing that came to mind when he announced he was taking the MLA Welfare Challenge from an anti-poverty group called Raise the Rates was “who?”

Today, Jagrup Brar is the most famous guy in town as he tries to sustain himself on welfare. He has three more weeks to go before he can go back to his family, his $100,000 job and the ability to stay well fed on stories from his brief journey to Hunger.

But, if it’s easy to be cynical about Jagrup Brar, what about the other 84 fat cats who didn’t take up the MLA Challenge, who chose instead to let What’s His Name take one for the team in the coldest and wettest month of the year?

In the province with the worst poverty in the country, where are they? It should be mandatory for every MLA to go through what Brar is going through. How long do you think it would be before welfare rates, which actually went down in 2002 before they went up a bit in 2007, doubled?

And what about all those reporters so breathlessly documenting the Trials of Jagrup? When was the last time they spent the night at a homeless shelter or talked to real poor people instead of just turning up at the nearest news conference about poverty?

And finally, what about me? I can think of a thousand reasons why I’m too busy to spend a month on welfare, away from family, friends and the fridge. My only consolation is that I have lots of company. No one else I know wants to do it either.

So I read Jagrup’s blog. His unfiltered, unspun account of his day-to-day life on welfare is actually quite powerful, moving and surprising. If you thought welfare was easy street, read his blog and learn, starting with the 68-page application required just to get on the dole.

Just reading about it is tough. But it’s a sure cure for cynicism. Visit mlaonwelfare.com.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1066635 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:13:35 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1066635
Lost in the noise after B.C.’s tough drunk-driving law was ruled unconstitutional, just in time for Christmas, is an astounding number.

Since the law was introduced in September 2010, more than 23,000 people were given immediate roadside suspensions for driving impaired.

You can argue that police should not have that power; that everyone should have their day in court; that breathalyzer readings may be faulty and should be backed up with a second reading. You can complain about the disproportionate cost to the offender — up to $5,000 — not to mention the potential loss of livelihood, especially for those who drive for a living.

And you could be right. In fact, as they say in courtroom dramas, I’ll stipulate. It’s time to fix the law and reset the balance so an entire generation doesn’t go down under a giant DUI tsunami.

But before we give everyone a get-out-of-jail-free card, let’s talk about that 23,000 number for a minute. 

Not all of those people were like the human trainwreck who blew three times the legal limit and was charged for driving the wrong way on the Upper Levels. The law means nothing to someone in that kind of shape. But many of the 23,000 are doing everything they can to convince the courts they weren’t impaired, that the breathalyzer registered a faulty reading, etc.

If they were so clear-headed at the time they got into their cars, what were they thinking? Were they gambling that they could slip through the CounterAttack roadblock? Maybe instead of calculating the possibility of getting caught, why didn’t they pause to consider the simple truth that even being slightly impaired increases their chances of getting in an accident?

Of messing up everyone’s holiday, big time.

Why this compulsion to drive impaired? It’s not just a question for 23,000 drunks. It’s for all of us who continue to text, put on that mascara, eat that breakfast sandwich, drink that hot coffee. That’s driving impaired, too. And to the booze and the not-so-smart phones, add prescriptions drugs, non-prescription drugs, recreational drugs.

It’s a miracle we don’t all end up as roadkill.

The toughest drunk-driving laws in the country managed to reduce deaths by 40 per cent; “only” 68 people died last year, below the average of 113.

It’s that time of year when there are more parties, more drinks, more bad weather, more traffic. A dangerous Christmas punch. As the sugar plums dance in your head, try to remember that the greatest gift you can give your loved ones — and everyone else’s loved ones — is to drive sober.
And Merry Christmas, pilgrim.  

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1053810 Mon, 19 Dec 2011 02:31:09 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1053810
It’s also the name of a Neo-Nazi movement with devotees around the world, including right here in Lotusland. Like the two guys who were recently charged with various hate crimes, including setting a Filipino person on fire while he was sleeping on a discarded couch. The man was badly burned, but he survived.

I’m still trying to figure out what exactly is honourable about setting a defenceless person on fire. Of course, he’s less likely to fight back. Maybe they should rename the movement Blood and Chicken S--t.

In some ways, it’s difficult to take these guys seriously. They have ridiculous names such as Werwolfwear, Skrewdriver, Schwarzer-Orden (Black Order) and, my favourite, 14 Words: We Must Secure the Existence of Our People and A Future for White Children.

It’s important, apparently, to protect the little white moppets from the Zionist Occupation Government (ZOG), according to Blood and Honour deep thinker Max Hammer, while honouring the memory of Ian Stuart Donaldson, former frontman for the white-power band Skrewdriver, who died in 1993.

The creepiest part of this garbage, along with all the Nazi-inspired neo-swastikas and iconography, is that these guys truly believe other white people share their vision but are just too downtrodden by the forces of ZOG to do anything about it.

What’s even creepier is that their vision, stripped of its over-the-top, red-and-black bluster, keeps turning up all over the place. In this post 9-11 world, the target is more Middle Eastern than African or Asian. Certain pundits argue seriously that we are about to be engulfed by a new generation of immigrant Muslims and then enslaved by Sharia law, the most hardline interpretation of the Qur’an. There’s a terrorist lurking behind every burqa.

Meanwhile, anyone with ambitions to be the next U.S. president has to declare his or her intent to shore up the wall between the U.S. and Mexico to keep out the “illegals.” Canada is rarely included in the conversation, and when it is, Canadian “illegals” are called “snowbirds.” They’re white and therefore not a problem.

Here in B.C., we have a Hate Crime Task Force, which tries to prevent Blood and Honour from terrorizing the innocent. Critics argue that hate-crime legislation is overkill and people who set people on fire are just criminals, period, and that the traditional criminal code is enough.

Maybe so, but hate is an accelerant, the Molotov cocktail of the mind. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, to prevent it from spreading.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1047995 Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:19:00 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1047995
Well, you do now.

And what do you think about that? Not that it matters, as the NEB didn’t bother to consult anybody about its decision, and that includes the mayors of our fair region.

The NEB says it doesn’t have to consult anybody because the application from energy company Kinder Morgan to increase volumes doesn’t require any expansion of facilities.

Except that in a separate decision, the NEB allowed Kinder Morgan to twin the Trans Mountain pipeline from Edmonton, also without consulting anyone.

Oh, so is that where the extra oil will come from? The oilsands?

OK, so we have a new pipeline pumping new oil to the same old port and nobody told the people anything.

And if that’s not bad enough, the Coast Guard readiness plan to deal with a possible oil spill hasn’t been updated in a decade. It’s not clear that we’re able to cope with a spill at the current levels of shipping, never mind at an increased level.

I’m sitting here trying to visualize 27,000 barrels of oil lined up along the docks. And then what that 27,000 barrels looks like dumped into Burrard Inlet. Even worse, one tanker carries 550,000 barrels of oil. At that point, the mind goes TILT.

Thoughtful people never forget that Canada is a fortunate country because it sits on a vast supply of natural resources and has the wealth and capacity to develop them and generate more wealth. And that wealth means jobs and education and health care and 70-inch flat screen TVs. (It’s my list, OK?) The oilsands will pump trillions into the Canadian economy, and we should keep that in mind.

But thoughtful people also look a gift horse in the mouth. Just ask the Trojans what happens when you don’t. And it’s hard to trust when the people safeguarding that trust don’t even bother to include you in the discussion.

Sure, it takes longer. And the usual suspects get out their soapboxes and start whining and complaining. If they had their way, we’d live in yurts and eat fungus. But if you ask me, I’d rather live in a yurt than in a puddle of toxic sludge.

Not that anyone bothered to ask me.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1041685 Mon, 05 Dec 2011 05:55:35 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1041685
Four of the last six: Larry Campbell, Sam Sullivan, Philip Owen and Mike Harcourt, are circulating a letter endorsing the legalization of marijuana, while current mayor Gregor Robertson has chirped up with a supporting tweet.

No word from former mayor Gordon Campbell, but as he already has a DUI on his record, he’ll probably keep a low profile on this one.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has been quick to try and kill the buzz. Won’t happen on my watch, he said Friday, so it’s not time to fire up that celebratory spliff just yet. But when such an august assemblage gets the stone rolling, how long will it be before the estimated $7-billion B.C. bud industry goes legit along with other previously prohibited vices such as alcohol, gambling and pornography?

Not to mention tobacco, which despite costing the health-care system approximately $16 billion a year in direct and indirect costs, continues to be available at pharmacies?

None of this bothers the nation’s foremost hypocrite, who allowed the U.S. to kidnap pot advocate Marc Emery to rot in a federal pen, no doubt while enjoying a fine vintage intoxicant.

Of course, I never inhaled, but more than six million Canadians use marijuana. In fact, we smoke four times as much dope as the world average, ranking fifth behind such clear-headed jurisdictions as Ghana, Zambia, Papua New Guinea and Micronesia.

So while that genie may be a hallucination, it’s not going back into the bottle. Or the hookah.

What possible point could there be in turning 16.8 per cent of the population into criminals? Make no mistake, the Harper government is uncompromising on this front. When the omnibus crime bill passes into law, you will face a six-month mandatory sentence for growing six marijuana plants, and any dope-related violation will result in a police record — even if you’re not charged!

So raise a bong to Larry, Mike, Sam, Philip and Gregor. If you can gamble, smoke, drink and swear, you should be able to cultivate your own little patch of nirvana without going to jail for six months.

Of course, we have to make sure no one operates heavy equipment (such as a 747) while under the influence, and it should be just as hard to buy B.C. bud as it is to buy Players Plain or Smirnoff Ice.

Which is not very.

The bottom line is simple: Prohibition doesn’t work. Dude.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1035734 Mon, 28 Nov 2011 05:04:28 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1035734
The headline writers.

Those literate souls who toil in obscurity on news desks across the city, trying to make news out of snooze. And today, they’re in tough. They don’t have much to work with in the wake of Saturday’s
somnambulant civic snore-off.

“Mildly progressive mayor re-elected by a tiny minority” is not much of a headline. Nowhere near as newsworthy as “Right-wing forces beat back socialist horde! Common sense restored!”

When you’re on a deadline, you don’t have time to pine for what could have been. You’ve got a lemon, so you make lemonade. How about “Hundreds of thousands protest civic election by refusing to vote! Vast Majority stays home!”? Not bad, but the same thing happens every time. Nothing new there.

Sometimes you can make news out of dirt by picking an angle that everyone else has overlooked, such as “After umpteen tries, Green party’s Adriane Carr finally gets elected” or “Second generation of Genovas wins park board seat,” but those really are sidebars.

Maybe the direct approach will work: “Business as usual” or the slightly more provocative “Nothing happened.” If you make them big enough, so they cover the whole page, maybe someone will pick one up off the newsstand.

Not convinced? OK, let’s try the celebrity angle: “Kim Kardashian not eligible to vote in Vancouver election.” Got your attention, didn’t it? And it’s accurate!

It’s hard enough being in the media these days, with everybody else horning in with their tweets and camera phones. Headline writers were hoping to catch a break. If Suzanne Anton had defeated Gregor Robertson, and then actually went through with her threat to forcibly evict the Occupy Vancouver protesters from the front lawn of the art gallery, they would have had days, maybe weeks, of sensational headlines. As it is, keyboards will be flung across newsrooms in frustration as Robertson returns to office:

“City hall continues to hint that Occupy Vancouver violates city ordinances. Tent City could be gone by 2014. Police poised to do nothing.”

The drought will spread across every newsroom. Mike McCardell could be the only guy covering city hall: Chris Gailus: “Remember the good old days when city hall was a sure-fire source of news? Me neither. But here’s a colourful old guy who does. We’ll get to him after sports, weather, the markets and news about Uzbekistan.”

Don’t touch that dial.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1030003 Mon, 21 Nov 2011 05:43:42 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1030003
The average price of a house in Vancouver ensures that only a select few, most of them from somewhere else, will be able to buy one.

The price of gasoline is higher in Vancouver than anywhere else except maybe Antarctica, but that’s not preventing the politicians from adding another 2 cents a litre to the gas tax for the Ever-red Line.

And let’s not forget the tent city right in the middle of downtown, which will probably stay there until the Supreme Court of Canada reviews the case … someday.

Good thing there’s a civic election coming up on Saturday and we can exercise our democratic right to vote.

Our democratic right to vote could use a little exercise. It’s getting flabby. Only 31 per cent of the Vancouver electorate voted in the last election, the fourth worst turnout since 1930.

So, as you stand in the rain waiting for the bus and it passes you by because it’s too full, remember that at least seven out of 10 people getting soaked to the bone don’t bother to vote.

Or seven out of the 10 people grumbling at the gas pump.

Or seven out of 10 people camped out on the front lawn of the Art Gallery protesting the failure of the government, the economy, the society, the culture and the weather.

Or seven out of 10 people who are against people camping out on the front lawn of the Art Gallery.

The more at stake, the less we vote. More = less. Talk about an equation that doesn’t add up.

I’ve already voted. I vote in North Van District where only 17 per cent voted in the last election.

About one in 10 people voted for Mayor Richard Walton, who helped raise the gas tax to pay for the Ever-red line. You can argue with his decision — but you can’t argue with his power. He’s vice-chair of Metro Vancouver, even though he only got 20,365 votes in the last election.

And that’s nothing compared to Board chair Lois Jackson. She was elected Mayor of Delta with 12,104 votes. A city of 2.5 million people is being run by someone with 12,000 votes. 

“What if they called an election and nobody bothered to show up?” is not a rhetorical question. It’s just the sad truth. And it comes just a week after Remembrance Day, when we honour those who died for what has turned out to be a poor excuse for democracy.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1023570 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 05:50:58 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1023570
Death, drama, defiance, destiny. Tale of Two Cities meets Hamlet meets V for Vendetta, with a bit of Cheech and Chong thrown in for comic relief.

And we still don’t know how it’s going to come out, although you get the feeling there will be no Hollywood happy ending.

What began as a spontaneous burst of protest energy has deteriorated into chaos and grief with two suspected drug overdoses in three days and the death of one of them, a young woman identified as Ashlie Gough.

This sad human tale has massive political ramifications worthy of a Dickens novel. It’s all going down on the eve of an election, and the politicians are trying to score as many points as possible without looking as if they are trying to score as many political points as possible.

Cue the weatherman who predicts torrential rain over the next three days.

If you think the morale in the tent city is bad today, wait a few days as it sinks into a morass of mud and paranoia.

Meanwhile, Hamlet, er, Gregor Robertson, stands on the sidelines wringing his hands, at first declaring the protesters can stay indefinitely and now, with the overdoses, declaring an end to Occupy Vancouver. He’ll get back to us on when and how.

As Robertson dithers, the fire department seems to be running the city, as firefighters negotiate with the protesters to improve safety conditions on the site.

It reminds me of that Sprint commercial on cable TV: What if Firefighters ran the world? A grizzled veteran steps up to the mic before an assembly of other grizzled veterans: “OK, guys, what about the budget? Balance it! Who wants better roads? We do! How about clean water? Aye!” After 30 seconds, the grizzled veteran steps off the podium. “Dis is the easiest job I ever had.” Assembled veterans chuckle. We could use a little of that practical wisdom here.

But there’s something haunting about Occupy Vancouver, and as it falls apart, as these things inevitably do, let’s not forget that they are there to do our dirty work. They are there to protest greed and inequality, and the latest poll says 51 per cent of Vancouverites agree with that. Of course, 75 per cent want them to pack up — and leave only a legacy behind.

It’s a story we can tell our grandchildren ... if we dare to have any.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1017444 Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:24:51 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1017444
It’s the scariest night of the year.

Because you live in Vancouver, universally acknowledged as the world’s most liveable city, you might think it’s safer than Transylvania, New Orleans, Sleepy Hollow and Wall Street but you’d be wrong.

So wrong.

Vancouver is very scary, too, but it’s not the usual suspects you’ve got to watch out for. Instead of vampires, zombies and werewolves, we’ve got … Suzanne Anton. And that voice: “Commmon sense…commmmmon sense…” sends shivers down your spine.

As a public service we present the Top 10 Scariest Things in Vancouver on All Hallows Eve. Armed with this list and a wooden stake, no harm will come to you as you venture out on your quest for treats.

10: The rain. It creeps slowly up your legs as you stand on the sidelines watching the kids play soccer. Sometime around Nov. 14, it reaches your brain. Arrggh.

9: The cost of housing: A 500-square-foot one bedroom apartment with a “den”. The “den” is just big enough to store your homunculus.

8. Bike lane intersections: If you love spectacular gory crashes, hang around at the intersection of Pacific and Burrard, where there’s an entry into bridge traffic, two pedestrian crosswalks and a bike lane all in the same place. It’s called the Mash…The Monster Mash.

7. Vision: Is clouded.

6. COPE: Can’t.

5. Non-Partisan Association (NPA):  You’re kidding, right? Bwah-ha-ha.

4. Jersey Girl: A.K.A. Premier Clark. Known to stalk photo opps wearing low-cut sports jerseys, which scares the pants off the NDP’s David Schreck, not to be confused with that other green ogre with the same name.

3. The Great Pumpkin, or Translink: There are never enough of these hearses that transport the Great Undead to the office in the morning and take them back to their crypts at night. At least, they smell like the Undead, especially when it rains. See 10.

2. The Vancouver Club: Favoured graveyard of the Secret Order of Unreconstructed Capitalists. Recently haunted by the scariest of them all, Dick Cheney. Aieee!

1. Riot trolls: They may look like A students or athletic heroes, but they run riot and wreak havoc at the slightest annoyance, such as the hockey team losing a game. They strike fear into the hearts of those who spawned them (their parents), who must be wondering if it was such a good idea to bring them into the world. Scariest of all? They are immune to arrest.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1010923 Mon, 31 Oct 2011 04:18:31 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1010923
You know who: The Occupy Vancouver protesters who have taken up what appears to be permanent residence at the Vancouver Art Gallery, right smack in the middle of the city.

It certainly sounds permanent. One guy says he’s planning to stay there “until I die,” which is about as permanent as it gets on this earth.

The tent city has grown to 100 tents, and once in a while sticks out a protest paw or two, such as the other day when campers hiked to Surrey to annoy George Bush, and on Saturday occupied a handy nearby TD Bank.

City hall and police have shown restraint, as a so-far peaceful Occupy Vancouver has put most of its energy into manufacturing creative protest signs, but you have to wonder how long the uneasy equilibrium can last.

Christmas and Hanukah are coming and pretty soon it will be time to put up the tree and light the giant menorah on the same spot, so unless a bunch of tents are prepared to make way for the festive season, we’re about to have a Yule duel.

Earlier this week, NPA mayoral candidate Suzanne Anton jacked up the rhetoric and said if she were mayor, Vancouver would no longer be Occupied.

Her opponent on council, Geoff Meggs, wants to see her plan for removing hundreds of protesters without incident. He has a point, but he doesn’t have a plan either, at least not one he is sharing with the rest of us. He makes comparisons to the Falun Gong protest on Granville in front of the Chinese consulate, so maybe he’s prepared to let them stay there for six years, festive season be damned.

All this political chest thumping makes for great news fodder, but it’s phony. Our fearless leaders would rather talk smack than make sense.

How refreshing would it be to see the premier or the mayor turn up at the tent city, walk through the muddy pathways, and meet actual people? Talk to them, find out what they want, or if there’s anything they can do. Engage in “dialogue,” which is not an alternative spelling of “photo op” or “sound bite.”

If Premier Clark and Mayor Robertson really mean it when they say they’re “different,” isn’t this a great opportunity to show what different looks like?

For better or worse, the Occupy movement is becoming be a key moment in the evolution of democracy.

So far, though, our leaders seem happy to give the whole mess a miss, at least until after the civic election, Nov. 19.

Talk about shortsighted. 

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1004868 Mon, 24 Oct 2011 05:38:19 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/1004868
Oppose corporate greed.

Oppose poverty.

Oppose genetically modified organisms.

Support affordable housing.

Support animal rights.

Support monetary reform.

Support consensus-based decision-making.

Support a better world.

Just a few of the reasons that crowds of people are camped out in front of the art gallery this morning, symbolically Occupying Vancouver.

Most of us are appropriately opposed and in favour, but most of us have to go to work, so we probably only have time to honk as we go by.

At least, I think it’s OK, but be careful — police are ticketing enthusiastic supporters of Occupy Seattle for the crime of drive-by honking and violating noise bylaws. It could happen here.

Maybe you’d like to honk, but are a little nervous about tooting your horn so soon after the hockey riot. If people run amok when the Canucks lose a hockey game, honking against corporate greed could really set them off.

And what about the art gallery? Here they are trying to run nice little exhibits on surrealism or post-modern expressionism, but there are always these people sprawled all over their front yard, smoking marijuana and making speeches. No wonder the art gallery wants to go somewhere else.

It might be fun to honk in support of saving the whales or seizing the means of production from the capitalist roaders, but how will that change anything? What’s more effective: honking and making speeches or trying to convince the Japanese and the Norwegians to stop their barbaric whale hunts? (Answer: none of the above, apparently.)

And as for the capitalists, I defer to John Lennon (not to be confused with that other Lenin, who didn’t like capitalists either):

“You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We’d all love to see the plan.”

Which reminds me: How is the new boss different than the old boss? If the Occupy Movement is so different and inclusive and “transparent,” why did the organizers prevent reporters and TV cameras from covering their planning meeting on Friday.... What have they got to hide?

Still, as honking is a right protected in the Charter (freedom of expression), go ahead and honk. But why confine it to the occupiers of the art gallery?

Honk as you go by First United or the Union Gospel Mission, where scores of volunteers work tirelessly to feed and clothe the homeless. And the next time you drive by your local MP’s or MLA’s office, honk to acknowledge the job they do on your behalf.

Everybody wants a better world. And everybody has a horn.

You know what to do.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/998788 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:43:29 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/998788
The new, improved BC Place opened Friday night, and you could cut the hype with a machete.
Esteemed colleagues in the media, especially the sports hacks, have gone literally bats over the revamp of the old dome, shrugging off the $563-million price tag. They’re gaga about the retractable roof and the impressive midfield jumbotron.

It didn’t hurt that the home team B.C. Lions knocked off the Edmonton Eskimos, always the best way to inaugurate a stadium.

But come on! I was there, and now I’m here.

To ask a few questions:

Why, after taxpayers coughed up nearly 600 million of their hard-earned dollars, did those taxpayers have to stand in long lines to go to the bathroom?

The retractable roof is a major engineering miracle, but was it just me, or was it quite breezy, chilly and uncomfortable? Don’t we get heat for our 560 million bucks?

Why did thirsty taxpayers have to spend $34 for four cans of Bud? Seems to me PavCo should at least have bought one round on the house as a toast to the taxpayer.

And what about all the single welfare moms who can’t make ends meet to pay for a giant can opener? They don’t get any beer, but they do get toasted.

Why is the jumbotron in the middle of the roof so enormous that it dwarfs the players on the field? I could see every pore on Travis Lulay’s face on the jumbotron, but in the real-life view, the players looked like ants on the field. So everybody watched the jumbotron or one of the 1,100 other monitors. It was like watching the game in your man cave at home, except the beer and snacks at home are cheaper.

Why, for 560 million bucks plus the price of admission, were spectators relentlessly hounded by advertising? There might have been a game on, but who could tell? The celebrated jumbotron/sound system broadcast an endless stream of hype; the stadium is ringed with never-ending flashing ads; and after just about every play, the teams just stand there waiting for the home broadcast TV commercials to finish. Uh, is this football, or is it the CML, the Canadian Marketing league?

I’m not sure who is ultimately responsible for this tour de farce.

Strangely, Mayor Robertson and his family were sitting a few rows away all by themselves. No posse, no “people,” they were as exposed to the rigours of opening night as the rest of us.

I wonder if he enjoyed himself as much as I did.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/986218 Mon, 03 Oct 2011 09:43:29 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/986218
He has a scheduling conflict, which is politician-speak for “Why would I attend my own lynch mob?”
The tsunami of hate that followed his getting the award swamped what was left of his reputation and assured he’ll be as far away from the ceremony as a man can be.

Now that he’s Canada’s High Commissioner to Britain, he can safely divide his time between London and his favourite Maui retreat and wait until the heat dies down in B.C. If it ever does.

This level of outrage over a ceremonial award is unprecedented. You’d think Campbell got away with murder, and many of his fiercest critics are thinking exactly in those terms: This guy saddled us with the HST when he said he wouldn’t. He sold BC Rail when he said he wouldn’t. He compromised BC Hydro by opening the door to private power companies. He scurried off to London and left us with a big fat deficit thanks to a spending spree that included almost $600 million for a new roof on BC Place. Good idea, that one.

Before we tie the noose around his neck, let’s not forget Gordon Campbell is our own creation. We elected him three times, which is still less than W.A.C. Bennett’s record of seven terms in a row, but that was before the Internet and Twitter changed the game, requiring a different breed of politician. Like Ashton Kutcher, maybe.

As for the HST, Jean Chretien did exactly the same thing when he told everyone he would rescind the GST and then changed his mind once he got elected and got a look at the moths flying around the federal wallet. Chretien is still fondly remembered as the “little guy from Shawinigan.” Campbell will be remembered for his mug shot, commemorating B.C.’s only DUI premier. I bet the committee assessing this year’s crop of nominations wishes Campbell’s nomination had been lost in the mail.

What were they supposed to do? Turn him down? Send him home to say five Hail Marys and five Our Fathers? Recommend he try some other province, like P.E.I.?

The only thing worse than giving him the award would have been rejecting the man, who was, after all, the face of B.C. during the triumphant Winter Olympics. Or, now that he’s not showing up, they could just give it to Sumi, Quatchi and Miga instead.


]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/979750 Mon, 26 Sep 2011 09:27:35 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/979750
First, you have to be adorable like the baby beluga in the Raffi song or like the plush toys they sell in the gift shop of the Vancouver Aquarium.

Then you have to have a cool, First Nations-sounding name, like Tiqa. It helps if it has “Q” in it.

Then you have to make it to adulthood, and if the fishbowl you’re born in happens to be the Vancouver Aquarium, the odds of that happening aren’t good — three baby belugas have died in the past six years.

A total of five have born at the aquarium -- including Tiqa’s mother, Qila -- since 1995, and three have died. You have a 60 per cent chance of not making it.

Tiqa was the latest fishbowl beluga to die, on Friday morning, of pneumonia, or some underlying cause. At this time, the underlying cause remains a mystery, but who knows? Maybe three-year-old Tiqa faced spending his 25- to 30-year life span as an adorable  marketing device and just gave up the ghost.

In the wild, belugas range the oceans, migrating from the Arctic to warmer southern waters in the winter. In the aquarium, belugas swim from one end of the fishbowl to the other, and then repeat. I have no idea what that feels like if you’re a beluga, but I suspect it’s like spending your entire existence in a 350-square-foot studio apartment. At least there are always plenty of snacks.

Animal-rights activists always sound so sure of themselves: We have no right to keep these enormous, intelligent creatures in aquariums. They belong in the wild. End of argument. Just watching them swim around in circles, it’s tough to argue.

But who knows? Maybe belugas are slacker whales and like dwelling in the marine equivalent of a couch. Certainly, it’s no haven out there. If the killer whales or the polar bears don’t get you, the humans will, armed with their pointy sticks and pollution. As aquarium CEO John Nightengale points out, belugas have a 50-50 chance of survival in the wild, which apparently means it’s OK to raise them in a fishbowl.

Maybe it is, but when they insist on dying, their value as adorable marketing devices is limited. Maybe the aquarium should just give up on the idea and stick to the lower forms of life. I mean, who cares if your mollusk dies? You just get a new clam and carry on.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/973253 Mon, 19 Sep 2011 14:00:00 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/973253
I have to admit, the scariest thing about the vote was not the result, but all those pictures of smilin’ Bill Vander Zalm looking like the eggplant that ate Vancouver. You have to wonder about anything that makes B.C.’s most notorious horticulturalist that happy, but I digress …

OK, the vote: 881,198 British Columbians can’t be wrong, can they?

Adrian Dix, NDP leader and Vander Zalm’s strange bedfellow, said Friday it was “a great day for democracy.” I think he meant that the people rose up and stuck it to the man, or in this case the woman, Premier Christy Clark. Or else he means he can almost taste a victory for the NDP in the next election. Not sure.

I wish I could get all triumphant like Dix and smilin’ Bill, but when you look at what we actually get, what’s the big deal? The facts: In 19 months or so the government will replace the current 12 per cent HST with the old five per cent GST and seven per cent PST, which comes to 12 per cent.

Can’t fool me.

Presumably, all the old exemptions and weird anomalies will apply, like the PST on red raincoats but not on yellow raincoats. Or is it the other way around?

If we’d left well enough alone, after two years, we’d have a 10 per cent HST.

A great victory, then, voting down a 10 per cent tax to restore a 12 per cent tax, one that’s full of zany inconsistencies. Power to the people!

Premier Clark, for her part, seems eager to turn the page and get on with her agenda, whatever that is. But it’s a mighty heavy page that’s going to take 19 months to turn, even with all that help from the peanut, er, press gallery.

If the government tries to repair PST inconsistencies, what does that do to its solemn promise to restore the exemptions just the way they were? What’s fair: A tax on all the colours of the raincoat or no tax on raincoats? The mind boggles.

And now that the people have tasted the triumph of direct democracy, will they start clamouring for more direct democracy, and then more? How long before we’re like California, empowered and free … and dead broke — because California will fall into the ocean before its direct democrats ever vote in favour of a tax initiative. 

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/954765 Mon, 29 Aug 2011 01:53:20 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/954765
Another indisputable fact: The PNE is the best part of summer.

Just in case you’re inclined to argue, here are the facts:

1) The SuperDogs.

2) The wooden roller coaster. It occurs to me, as I look around, that I’m the oldest guy in the lineup. What do the other old guys know that I don’t?

3) The little doughnuts, which are only good for about eight minutes after they come off the doughnut device fresh and hot. Also edible: the two-foot-long hotdog experience Double Dog Dare Ya, Jimmy’s hamburgers with fried onions and Hunky Bill’s Genuine Winnipeg Garlic Sausage. Best advice is do the Hellevator or the Atmosfear first, wait five minutes, then dive into a Double Dog Dare Ya. You’ve got 11 months and 29 days to recover.

4) The 4H exhibit. Every year some kid becomes a vegetarian after raising a heifer from birth only to sell it for sirloins.
 
5) The SuperDogs.

6) Dal Richards. He’s not quite as old as the fair itself, but almost — in seven years he’ll be the world’s only 100-year-old band leader. He leads a 14-piece band for two shows a day, all 17 days at the Fair. Beats that whippersnapper Kenny Rogers all hollow.

7) Whack-a-mole. Allows you to release 12 months of frustration by trying to hammer a moulded-plastic rodent into submission in order to win a giant pink bear. It doesn’t get any better than that.

8) The PNE Prize home. This year, it comes with a free lot in Kelowna. Talk about a long commute. Added enticements:  $1,500 worth of groceries from IGA. People stand in line to check it out. I’d rather stand in line for the roller coaster.

9) The Pig Races. I’m sure that in another 100 years from now, our descendants will think there’s something barbaric about making Kevin Bacon and Britney Spareribs run around a track for our amusement. But talk about funny? I laughed so hard, I nearly cracked a spare rib.

10) The SuperDogs.

Imagine if you sat down to invent a summer fair in the year 2011. You would hardly begin with 73 varieties of exotic purebred rabbit, Nearly Neil and Hunky Bill’s Genuine Winnipeg Garlic Sausage. Then add a 93-year-old band leader and throw in the Hellevator. But it works. Every year. See you at the fair.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/948781 Mon, 22 Aug 2011 02:28:01 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/948781
The usual suspects are well-represented: Stanley Park, Gastown, Granville Island, English Bay, etc. And they’re all great.

But the bus could run out of gas and still not see everything. There’s too much. It’s too vast. To scope it all, the tourists are going to need our help.

Here’s an idea: What’s your favourite spot in all of Metro? Send it in to Metro and we’ll put together a list that will get the tourists off the beaten track (sorry, Search and Rescue) and even renew our interest in exploring our own Big Back Yard.

To get you started, I’ve nominated my own top five that aren’t on the bus, at least not yet:

5) Lighthouse Park: A slice of old-growth forest nestled in the expensive West Van real estate. Hug an 800-year-old tree, see the lighthouse up close, sun yourself on the rocks like a seal, and get as close to the real ocean — Georgia Strait — as you can get. They don’t make trees like that back in Kansas, Toto.

4) Capilano-Pacific Trail: Travels along the Capilano River from Cleveland Dam to the ocean, from the forest primeval to Park Royal. Weird. Even weirder, it goes right past the Capilano Suspension Bridge compound, so all the tourists watch you go by and wonder how you get there. And it’s free.

3) Spanish Banks: Before he died, I would drive out here with my 90-plus-year-old uncle, after a visit to White Spot, and we’d park and count the number of tankers waiting to get into the harbour and people-watch. I know ... but he liked it. Confirmed: people and their dogs do look alike.

2) Beaver Lake: A natural miracle, a 10-minute jog from the epicentre of downtown. On a trail that’s exactly one kilometre around the lake, you can see the aforementioned beaver, plus herons, eagles, ducks, raccoons, ground squirrels, geese and a number of confused German tourists: this is a lake? Well, it’s more like a swamp, but it’s the most picturesque swamp in the world.

1) Edgemont Village: So I live on the North Shore. We all have valuable local knowledge, and I’m here to testify that on a warm sunny day in August, there’s no finer place to be than on the corner of Highland and Edgemont boulevards at an outdoor table with a latté and an iPad. It’s the centre of my universe.

OK, now it’s your turn.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/943137 Mon, 08 Aug 2011 00:28:47 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/943137
I’m starting to wonder if Gregor Robertson and his Moonbeam Team at Vision Vancouver are putting us on.

If you missed it the other day, he revealed Vancouver’s surefire answer to traffic gridlock: Walk, people.

Here’s what he said: “Walking is the top priority in the city’s transportation plan, and it’s important that we improve the safety and comfort of our streets and sidewalks for pedestrians.”

And to prove he means it, he reduced the speed limit on Hastings Street on the Downtown Eastside to 30 km/h in order to accommodate the substance-addled jaywalkers who wander into traffic in a determined effort to get to the other side, come what may.

Vancouver police, who must think city hall has been taken over by Martians, oppose the idea because the mayor has effectively endorsed jaywalking. He’s at least levelled the playing field, slowing traffic down to a crawl with a combination of ill-considered bike barricades and reductions in speed limits.

It all fits into the mayor’s scheme to take the city back to a less complicated time when folks grew wheat on the front lawns and raised chickens in the back, walked to the village and ate only home-grown vegetables because that’s all they could get and liked it, dammit.

Nobody ever said Vision Vancouver meant “forward,” did they?

It’s starting to dawn on the good people that the mayor is feverishly constructing a 17th-century theme park formerly known as Vancouver, complete with drunken feast days (e.g., the Stanley Cup, er, event), and they’re freaking out. The most recent poll shows a 14-point drop in Vision popularity. The good old NPA, decimated in the last wave of Gregormania, is undead and breathing down the mayor’s neck.

People who try to be “decent” and “law-abiding,” or at least try to get to work on time are increasingly discouraged by Vision’s callous disregard for their priorities in favour of those who don’t.

No one wants to see drug-addicted or mentally ill people endangered. No one wants cyclists to ride in peril.

But unlike the baby toads that are jay-hopping across the roads en masse in Chilliwack, human traffic has evolved the capacity to work together to ensure we all get there in safety and comfort.

And when the mayor has tunnel vision, he’s no help. We’re all holding our breath waiting for the next breathless Vision. How about chicken crossings on Broadway?

After all, they want to get to the other side, too.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/937331 Mon, 08 Aug 2011 00:28:47 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/937331
And to bolster that sweet delusion, there’s that ethereal music you’ll hear all over town this week: We must be in heaven, complete with soundtrack.

Or maybe it’s just the 11th World Harp Congress.

For the first time ever, all the world’s great harpists (and some of the ordinary ones) converge on the city this week to discuss affairs of the harp and to play their little harps out.

Sorry. I can’t help it.

There’s something about the 11th World Harp Congress that makes me smile. It’s like a gathering of angels. You expect them to have seminars on how to keep their wing feathers groomed and their haloes shiny.

In truth, it’s a little more practical: the program includes panel discussions on editing orchestra parts and how to avoid carpal harp syndrome, what to do when you bust a rod, how to travel with your harp and a lecture on yoga and Pilates for harpists.

Then you have the concerts: jazz harp, blues harp (actual harps, not harmonicas!), techno harp, ancient harp, Middle Eastern harp, Celtic harp, Latin American harp. Music to tug at the strings of your harp, er, heart.

The breadth of human endeavour never ceases to amaze.

At one end of the evolutionary spectrum you have UFC mixed martial arts, where the object is to smash and grunt as a bloodthirsty mob howls encouragement.

At the other end is the World Harp Congress, where the object is to gather 800 people from 40 countries around the world to make beautiful music.

Vancouver has always been a great place for groups to get together and talk about business, and ever since they rolled out the green carpet on top of the new convention centre, it has gone from great to record-breaking.

In 2010, 350 events brought $215 million in economic activity to the city, while 2011 will see 413 events, including the largest ever: in August, the Special Interest Group on Computer Graphics and Interactive Techniques (SIGGRAPH) will attract 20,000 delegates and 50 million bucks.

And really, the timing couldn’t be any better. After the worst winter and spring in nearly a century coupled with the world’s stupidest riot, the song of the harp will go a long way to soothing the beast, and SIGGRAPH will lure much-needed Americans back to Granville Island and the totem poles of Stanley Park.

Dan Brown’s Vatican may feature Angels and Demons. But here in Vancouver, we’ve got Angels and Nerds. Boo-yah!

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/925411 Mon, 25 Jul 2011 01:52:20 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/925411
That must be good, right? No one wants to live in the brownest city in the world, or the black and bluest. Green is easier on the eyes … not to mention the ear, nose and throat.

When you dive into the details, though, one big question emerges: Who is going to pay for making Vancouver the greenest city in the world by 2020?

If you guessed “we are,” you win the free trip to the poorhouse.

Get your calculator out and you’ll discover there’s a conflicting, unstated and unwelcome vision gathering momentum, and that’s the one to make Vancouver the reddest city in the world by 2020, as in red ink.

For example, how much is it going to cost to reduce average car-trip distance by 20 per cent? There are a huge number of hidden costs hiding under that rock: More bicycle lanes, more transit, more gas taxes and higher parking fees.

When you consider Metro mayors are already lined up to add another two cents a litre at the pump just to pay for the legendary, much-delayed Evergreen Line, how much more transportation cost can the average taxpayer endure?

I am amused (in an appalled way) by the news that Metro Vancouver costs are scheduled to go up another 44 per cent in five years, and Metro is complaining that somebody else — Ottawa? Victoria? — should kick in more money, because they’re not paying their fair share.

Don’t these guys get it? There is one taxpayer. One. You. And you only have one pocket to pick.

Metro Vancouver is a big city that just keeps on getting bigger, but the people who live in it just keep getting smaller, as their struggle to pay the mortgage on their $850K bungalow or buy gas or a bus pass to get to work gets tougher with every increase at the pumps and dumps.

We’re being nibbled to death by user fees.

Green is good, but when it comes to ink, black is better. And it’s much better than red.

Premier Christy Clark had it right the other day when she came out against her own minister’s endorsement of the mayors’ plan to raise the gas tax. People have had it, and she knows it.

But then someone pointed out she was pulling the rug from under her transport minister, and she had to do a 180.

Cut the premier some slack. With all these expensive visions in the air, you can’t blame her for being confused about which ones are hers.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/919675 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 01:52:20 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/919675
So I did. Then, as if it were a radioactive isotope, I wrapped my vote in three separate envelopes and sent it off to Victoria, where I’m led to believe it will be part of the tally that either keeps or kills the HST.

Want to know how I voted? I’ll bet you do.

But first, here’s what I thought before I voted.

I thought I have never felt more insulted as a citizen than I did when, nine weeks after promising the HST was not on the government’s radar, Premier Gordon Campbell got himself re-elected, then went ahead and implemented the tax anyway.

I thought that instead of just charging my business clients five per cent, all of a sudden I was required to charge them 12 per cent, and, somehow, that was supposed to be good for all of us.

I then thought that the opponents of the HST have never made a successful argument in favour of restoring the old GST/PST system, especially after the government moved to soften the blow by promising to bring it down to 10 per cent by 2014.

I also thought that not one of us understands what the tax landscape will look like if the HST is voted down. Will the former PST exemptions apply? Or is this just a prelude to a costly wrangle that promises to drag on well into the 21st century?

I then thought that the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen is the NDP pretending to lead a revolt against paying taxes. Any party that really believes in a civil society and a social safety net also has to admit it supports progressive taxation; yet the NDP is playing politics and is pretending it has the same outlook as Bill Vander Zalm.

I remembered that in Ontario, the Canadian Auto Workers union is warning against an anti-HST revolt. Here in B.C., it’s promoting one. Politics again.

I remembered that, although its leader has changed, the government in Victoria is the same one that imposed the HST in the first place, and why should I believe anything it says?

I thought what it comes down to is this: Either vote in favour of keeping a good tax dishonestly imposed, or vote for a dumb old tax we never had a real chance to kick to the curb.

Why, I finally thought, should I vote for a dumb old tax, no matter what?

So I didn’t. I voted no.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/913849 Mon, 11 Jul 2011 00:00:47 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/913849
He’s getting it from all sides. Pundits everywhere are lining up to throw verbal rotten tomatoes.

The latest is Gwyn Morgan, Premier Christy Clark’s strategic transition advisor, who must have checked with his client before launching his own overripe vegetable, indicating that the Jersey Girl is willing to let the mayor twist in the ill wind of the riot aftermath.

Morgan is also the ex-founding CEO of Encana, one of North America’s largest producers of natural gas, which makes him uniquely qualified to be a pundit.

Before he retired, Morgan was one of Canada’s foremost corporate heavyweights, and his criticism of Robertson will no doubt rock the mayor’s increasingly unsteady perch.

In his regular column for Calgary-based troymedia.com, Morgan questioned the judgment of the mayor and his team for setting up the jumbo screens that lured tens of thousands downtown, and then keeping the bars open even after the provincial government closed down the liquor stores.

As to the mayor’s vow that the riot won’t stop the city from holding future events, Morgan is particularly scathing: “… his administration would be prepared to once again risk the livelihood of local shop owners, and our country’s international reputation, to host huge parties where only bar owners benefit.”

So far, no comment from either the embattled mayor or the premier, but the mayor hardly has time to react to all the attacks on his judgment and character — too many tomatoes, not enough time.

At city hall last week, the mayor tried to proceed like it was business as usual, so the first thing on the agenda for the first meeting after the riot was another Mayor Moonbeam eye-roller: A program to encourage people to grow wheat on their front lawns. Of course, people were looking for leadership, not tips on growing their own bread to go with the mayor’s ill-considered circuses.

That leadership was enthusiastically provided by the opposition, the NPA’s Suzanne Anton, who tried to interrogate His Honour about the riot. After five minutes, the mayor simply turned off her microphone, instantly turning Anton into Suzanne of Arc and himself into mud.

The mayor is down so low, everything must look like up to him. Whenever the road to re-election gets rocky, he has usually been able to count on the fact that Anton, his NPA opponent in the next election, has looked pretty weak and indecisive.

Well, he’s taken care of that, too.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/907249 Sun, 03 Jul 2011 22:08:47 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/907249
The heat is on Mayor Gregor Robertson and Police Chief Jim Chu. If they aren’t responsible for public safety, who is? And if public safety fails, as it certainly did on the night of June 15, do they take the blame? And what does “taking the blame” mean? A public apology? Falling on your sword? Desperately casting about for someone else to take the fall?

Well, for Chu and Robertson so far, it’s been door number three.

Both blamed anarchists for inciting the riot. Sorry, said the anarchists, it wasn’t us. No self-respecting anarchist would trash a bookstore the way the rioters went after Chapters.

OK, Chu and Robertson then blamed hooligans, also known as “not real hockey fans.” The problem with that was obvious to anyone who watched people dressed in expensive hockey jerseys set cars on fire, smash windows, loot stores and take cool photos of each other.

Could be anarchists posing as hockey fans. Clever anarchists.

As potential scapegoats were disqualified one by one, the wolves began to circle Chu, who doesn’t look good. At one point he tried to discredit the guy who helped write the 1994 riot report (which, apparently, went unread at city hall), and has been playing coy with the number of officers assigned before Game 7 and the subsequent riot.

Robertson, meanwhile, has apparently decided to become the victim in all of this. ( “No, the police chief won’t tell me the number of officers, but I’m sure Chief Chu knows what he’s doing and the buck stops here,” etc.)

If I were Chief Chu, I’d start updating my resumé.

I’d like to sympathize with the chief and the mayor, but I sympathize more with the poor people at Blenz Coffee, in the epicentre of the riot, who spent hours huddling in the back room in fear of their lives while the anarchists/hooligans/hockey fans trashed and looted the store and no one came to help.

I’d be more sympathetic if both the chief and the mayor apologized to those people for putting them in harm’s way. If I were the mayor, I’d then promise the people of Vancouver to stop all the mad-scientist social experiments for a while to concentrate on good governance and public safety, which may not be as much fun as inviting huge mobs to clog the streets but they are the bases for a civilized democracy.

Then I’d stop letting the wolves chew on the chief and let everyone know that by generating a huge mob and tempting the fates on a historic, emotionally charged day  and then failing to plan for the inevitable, I let everyone down.

Who knows — if he did that, he might even get re-elected.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/901259 Mon, 27 Jun 2011 01:55:42 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/901259
And is there anyone among us who has not yet posted his or hers heartfelt comments out loud, online, on plywood, on Post-its, on police cars?

If democracy is all about freedom of expression, then our democracy is safe, as all 2.5 million residents of Greater Vancouver, it seems, have freely expressed themselves.

So what can I possibly add? Well, how about this: It will never be the same. We just got kicked out of the Garden of Eden.

We had it all: The world’s most livable city. Lululemon Land. But then, from within our midst, rose a kind of preening terrorist who did his best to spoil it for everyone else in order to wallow in his badass rep for 15 minutes of social-media-inspired notoriety. It worked beyond his wildest dreams. I say “his” because I didn’t see any women kicking in store windows or standing on top of burning cars braying with intoxicated, testosterone-fuelled bravado.

Although I did see quite a few laughing and taking smartphone photos of their heroes as they acted out their barbarian fantasies with no concern for the consequences or the damage done.

I’ve heard them called many things: But know them for what they are — terrorists. They pose triumphantly amidst the destruction, and it’s only because of luck and the much-maligned Vancouver police that there wasn’t more of it.

These people are just as rootless, pointless and lost as the dangerous fools who answer the call to jihad and other notions of mass destruction. It doesn’t matter that they were born and fostered in paradise. They can find the flimsy excuses to stoke their anger and justify their crimes anywhere, regardless of the banquet of opportunities laid on their table.

I’ll leave the psychology to others. I need a little time to accept that they lifted the lid on the Apocalypse and gave us here in Vancouver a little peek.

So that’s what it looks like.

It’s now impossible to deny that it can happen here, too, where, even if it looks pretty, the layer of civilization is just about an inch deep. Nowhere is safe. Just ask the people in Bosnia.

So I don’t have any quick prescriptions. Take these words and you’ll feel better in the morning? No, you won’t and you know it — it will never be the same. Every time you walk by the Bay or any of those other shiny symbols of peace and prosperity, how will you be able to think about them as anything other than targets?

What else can I say? How about this: It was nice while it lasted?

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/894507 Mon, 20 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/894507
Whether we like it or not.

An epidemic of Canucks Fever has invaded every nook and cranny of the Lower Mainland, and spread to the Island and the Interior.

There’s no place to hide. Back in April or May, you could be indifferent to our plucky band of Scandinavian, French Canadian and American Canucks, but if they haven’t got you by now, you’re from Boston. Or Calgary.

Maybe you just really, really want it to be over so you can pack up the Ryan Kesler jersey and the blue-and-green face paint and get on with summer. It gets hot wearing that jersey on the beach. Even in Vancouver.

Well, pilgrim, it could be all over tonight, as your Canucks could be the world champs by 8 p.m., local time.

Or, depending on which team boarded the plane to Boston over weekend, we could have to wait until Wednesday to assume the mantel of global hockey supremacy.

If it’s the A Team, we can look forward to brilliant playmaking and goaltending, ferocious hitting and single-minded determination. Or not, if the practice squad went to Boston instead.

That’s the only explanation for what happened in games 3 and 4, when Canucks Fever turned into the bone-numbing chill we’ve had to endure from this team from time to time.

It ain’t easy being a Canucks fan. We’re literally skating on thin ice with this team, waiting to drown without a trace in some foreign arena (or even here at home). It doesn’t matter if we score more goals, give up fewer, win the Presidents’ Trophy, whatever, just when things finally seem to be going our way, the boys go into a collective coma and lose 8-1.

I mean, where did that come from? Canuck lag?

Anyway, it will all be over — for sure — Wednesday. It can’t come too soon for me. I haven’t been able to watch since the Chicago series; instead, I follow the game with one eye shut on my NHL app and monitor the atmosphere for honking and cheering. It’s just too stressful to watch that giant guy harass my goalie or watch Henrik Sedin absolutely under all circumstances refuse to do anything but pass to his brother.

But, whatever happens tonight or Wednesday, it’s been a fantastic season, and it doesn’t really matter who wins ... wait a minute. What am I talking about? Of course it matters.

Go Canucks Go! And bring home the Stanley Cup … tonight!

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/887610 Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:22:48 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/887610
It goes like this: The editor, trying to get a rookie reporter to understand what makes news, tells him Dog Bites Man is not news. It’s unfortunate, but it happens all the time. However, when Man turns around and bites Dog, now that doesn’t happen every day. That’s news, Junior.

So what do we make of Man Bites Man? Vancouver Canuck Alex Burrows allegedly went all Hannibal Lecter on Boston’s Patrick Bergeron in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup final and it was news on both coasts. In Boston, they’re calling Burrows Ol’ Chopper.

Ol’ Chopper has chewed all the other news into little bites. Did you know the Liberal government invoked closure last week on the HST debate to shut the opposition up? The government must be delighted that Burrows’ dental follies have dominated the public imagination when otherwise it would be the HST, which takes a real bite out of your paycheque.

The incident certainly lit a fire under Ol’ Chopper. Narrowly avoiding a suspension for illegal masticating, he went out in Game 2 Saturday and won it all by himself — scored the first goal, assisted on the second to tie it up and then scored a Gretzky-worthy wrap-around from behind the net 11 seconds into sudden-death overtime to lift the Canucks to victory.

If that’s all it takes, next game the boys should leave their sticks in the locker-room and hit the ice with knives and forks.

The Bruins can shrug in public all they like, but it has to play havoc with your confidence when the other side preys on you. The Nashville Predators just pretend to take a bite out of you. But the Vancouver Canucks? That orca on their jersey? It’s also called a killer whale.

The Burrows Bite has infected the whole town. We’ve got the equivalent of hockey rabies, a terminal case of playoff fever. If the government tries to pass a law to charge carbon tax on the HST on the carbon tax, no one would notice; we’re too busy trying to participate in history in the making.

Thousands of people go downtown just to watch TV. Two guys dress up in green spandex and, instead of getting arrested, get free tickets and all expenses paid to the Boston games. Women can’t keep their jerseys on, exposing green and blue playoff pompoms.

Let’s eat! Er, go Canucks go! And pass the salt.

]]> http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/880862 Mon, 06 Jun 2011 05:21:52 -0400 Paul Sullivan, Metro Vancouver http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/comment/article/880862