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Vicky Mochama: The voice of Metro News.

Eat your feelings: There's not enough food in the world to make the U.S. election palatable

Now that we’re past the final debate, with only Election Day left to contemplate, just one question remains: What does one eat for the apocalypse?

Democratic presidential nominee former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump debate during the third U.S. presidential debate at the Thomas & Mack Center on October 19, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Tonight is the final debate ahead of Election Day on November 8.

Mark Ralston-Pool/Getty Images

Democratic presidential nominee former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump debate during the third U.S. presidential debate at the Thomas & Mack Center on October 19, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Tonight is the final debate ahead of Election Day on November 8.

Watching the Democrats and Republicans battle it out first made me angry, then massively hungry.

For two years we’ve been hearing about this seemingly endless election. Would Bill Clinton be an asset or a liability to Hillary? What about ISIS? Would the GOP get it together? (Spoiler: no.)

I’m starving.

On Tuesday night, I made 24 cornbread muffins. I am not a baker. I don’t like to encourage associations between me and kitchens. I was arming myself for the third U.S. presidential debate. Eating your feelings is an essential survival strategy for this election.

I was unprepared for the first debate: a plate of nachos and salsa. The next day, I ate a chocolate chip cookie every hour until the world felt right again. Luckily, the second debate was on Thanksgiving. It gave me a full plate to stare miserably into during each of the 55 times that Trump interrupted Clinton. The key is to keep chewing; otherwise bites of poultry will fall out of your mouth and onto your lap when the Republican candidate threatens to jail his opponent.

On Super Tuesday, Heather Whaley, writer of the book Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for Self-Loathing, recommended making a soup. To start: “Turn off the television, turn off the radio, put your phone in your sock drawer, and pre-heat the oven to 425.” To finish: “Serve this with some crusty bread, a nice sharp cheese, and something bracing because it’s going to be a long nine months.” And so it has been.

The nine months has been ample time to develop a warm, cordial relationship with my local food-delivery people. To stay in their good graces (and get my order in a timely fashion), I’ve had to be careful that my food reflects my politics. In this wild and wacky cycle, even a bucket of chicken is more than it seems. The political-action committee created by Yum! Brands — owner of Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and KFC — donated over $2,000 to a conservative PAC led by former Republican congressman Eric Cantor, according to Eater. Given that congressional Republicans have obstructed every one of President Obama’s plans, it’s probably better to forgo the stuffed-crust double pepperoni with mushrooms in favour of the neighbourhood Thai spot.

Every Big Food brand, from Skittles to Wendy’s, seems to have gotten in on the campaign; the search for friction-free packaged fare may be futile. Thus, I bake. For last night’s debate, I sat down with a glass of wine, 21 muffins (three did not survive the wait), a bowl of soup and a creeping sense of dread.

Now that we’re past the final debate, with only Election Day left to contemplate, just one question remains: What does one eat for the apocalypse?