Vicky Mochama: The voice of Metro News.
Vicky Mochama presents a Law & Order spinoff for the #MeToo movement
The dedicated people who evaluate which perpetrators are like, really gross and bad, are members of an elite adjudication team known as the Court of Public Opinion.
|Report an Error|
Share via Email
In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offences are considered especially heinous. But across the land, the dedicated people who evaluate which perpetrators are like, really gross and bad, are members of an elite adjudication team known as the Court of Public Opinion.
INT. DAY. A COFFEE SHOP
Woman 1: Did you hear about the politician and his alleged behaviour?
Woman 2: Yeah. A friend who worked in his first law firm said there were rumours for a long time.
Woman 1: He definitely did it then.
Newspaper columnist: Excuse me ladies, but the courts haven’t weighed in so he’s innocent until proven guilty.
Woman 1: I’m sorry. Did you say my latte's ready?
INT. DAY. OFFICE.
Tough but emotionally vulnerable woman detective: Okay, guys, I know we’ve all been up all night judging the Kardashians but we’ve got a live one. A reporter claims that a person of some renown has a bit of a habit of offering his male appendage to ladies younger than him and plying them with alcohol. Now, the reporter says she has text messages, parts of an email and the word of two different women spanning over a decade who’d be willing to talk. I don’t know that we’ve got enough to take it to a prosecutor. So I think we should fire it over to the Court of Public Opinion.
Jimmy Falcone (who went to law school): You sure, boss?
Detective: We don’t have time for your law school crap, Falcone.
INT. DAY. COURTROOM
Bailiff: Judge Jane Q. Opinion presiding. All rise.
Judge: Thanks Taylor, but no need for the formalities. Let’s just get to judging.
Bailiff: Case file 239-A. The People vs. Rumours About A Man
Judge: Christ, Taylor, I feel like I’ve been looking at behaviour and evaluating if it’s gross or bad for ages. And yet, not a single conviction. Anyways, I see the people have a witness. Please state your name and job for the record.
Witness: My name is Girl who Heard A Story But Wasn’t Super Sure It Was True. I work at the Place Where The Thing Happened But A Couple Years Later. A girl told me that maybe something had happened between her and The Man About Whom There Is A Rumour, which wouldn’t surprise me cause he just seems like the type you know.
Judge: In the opinion of this court, Oooh girl tell me more. You haven’t told me what he did, but I’m comfortable that he definitely did it.
Witness: Are you going to order this man to be arrested?
Judge: Listen, you’re not the first Girl in here and you certainly won’t be the last. This is where folks come when nothing else worked.
Witness: What… what happens now?
Judge: Usually there are some resignations and doomed countersuits, but to each his own, really.
Witness: Are you going to render any kind of verdict?
Judge: Um, sure. Whoever you’re talking about is a gross bad person.
INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY
Tough but emotionally vulnerable woman detective: It’s not perfect, but it’s something.
Falcone: This isn’t what I went to law school for.
Newspaper columnist: I should have gone to law school. Your Americanos will be at the counter.