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Vicky Mochama: Tom Hanks for Queen of England

According to reports, high level officials from the Commonwealth are meeting in London to decide, among other things, who will be the Queen's successor as head of that group of 53 nations. I have some suggestions.

Put a crown on it, amirite?

Theo Wargo / Getty Images

Put a crown on it, amirite?

It's a big international meeting where the stakes are high. No, it's not the G7 or a UN Security Council meeting.

According to reports, high level officials from the Commonwealth are meeting in London to decide, among other things, who will be the Queen's successor as head of that group of 53 nations.

You'd think the Queen's son, Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, would be a shoo-in for the job, but hereditary monarchies just aren't what they used to be. Time was that with the power of God, a single monarch and her heirs were destined to rule the land. But that's all changed because of social media, let's say. Probably. Go with me on this.

As per the Guardian, succession to lead the Commonwealth is not hereditary. So the Prince of Wales will take the throne and head the United Kingdom (and the 15 other Commonwealth countries that share the monarch as head of state). But that doesn't mean he gets to lead the whole group of 53.

The meeting's focus, they claim, is on "wider governance considerations,” which is fancy government talk for England's Next Top King or Queen.

On the face of it, it seems a short meeting: Charles or William? They both have their merits. Both are directly related to the existing monarch which is a key qualification for inheriting a kingdom. Both have experience being royals. Both know the layout of the various castles and countries they'd be heading, which is a hard qualification to overlook.

But this is a good time to consider some other worthy candidates.

Here are a few options:

Fergie (original recipe Fergie, not the one from The Black Eyed Peas). For the laughs, really.

Michelle Obama. No one seems to have fainted onto a divan on hearing that Prince Harry is marrying a Black divorced American, so why not give the People's Obama the throne she deserves.

Tom Hanks. He is the Most Likeable Man on the planet, his kids range from pleasantly bland (Colin Hanks, the Prince Edward of the Hanks fam) to pleasantly terrible (Chet Haze, a wannabe rapper, is the Prince Andrew), and he has an obsession with typewriters, which is perfectly aristocratic.

Chadwick Boseman. The star of the upcoming Black Panther film has played Jackie Robinson, Thurgood Marshall and James Brown. In due time, he will be asked to play the Queen in the final season of Netflix's The Crown. As a King of Wakanda, who else can better understand the duties of a royal?

Angela Merkel. With Brexit looming, this would be a great last-ditch attempt at fixing this terrible idea. Plus, the Royal family would be properly German again.

Clearly, this high-level group has a lot (...or two options) to consider. But I beg of them: don't rule out King Hanks.

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