Views / MetroTube Of The Day

Purple Panda terrifies small children, amuses the rest of us

Don't go telling these kids that Mr. McFeely is an unfortunately named children's show legend, because to them old Mr. McFeely is a fearsome man sent to torment children with his coterie of horrible monsters from whatever hellscape zoo houses pandas suffering from full-body bruises. And here's a pro-tip that looks to have missed purple panda at that fancy Anthropomorphic Entertainment College - if your arrival touches off a wailing wave of mass hysteria among your cherub-cheeked audience, the correct approach is not to stand limply while silently staring them down with vacant eyes.